Judge, 1916-10-21 · page 12 of 32
Judge — October 21, 1916 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks wealthy male attitudes toward society wives. A man named Allison describes to Morrison the *only* type of woman who interests him: one hardened by life's disappointments and betrayals—a woman who is ambitious, scheming, materialistic, and morally compromised. She must want to open business ventures (beauty parlors, apartments), demand expensive luxuries (lobster, furs, diamonds), and possess fabricated tales of romantic conquests and near-miss theatrical stardom. The satire targets both genders: husbands who've become jaded by their wives' social climbing and self-promotion, and the "prominent club women" themselves—depicted as calculating, dishonest entrepreneurs using charm and deception to extract financial support from men. The second item, "Let Them Go to It," is a brief joke about bankruptcy litigation that's self-explanatory wordplay. The cartoon illustrates a man lounging while reading, surrounded by domestic comforts—the scene of leisure disrupted by marital ambition.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
wa <e a! os Cs INTE Nines! Fo SSL A SWEET ARE THE USES OF ADVERSITY (His wife being a prominent club woman.) thing any woman living on this carth caa do to me! They've all been done.” “Do you mean to tell me, Allison,” and Morrison seemed a bit awed, “that you don’t like women any more —thi ou have gotten beyond them “No, I can’t say that, for there is a certain kind that still awakens within mea semblance of interes “And what is t kind?” queried » apparently deeply interested. Vell,” said Allison, “I suppose I might designate them as the well seasoned. matter of fact, Morrison, to eng: attention a woman must first of all So long as she is hardened by experience, and has n freely and without stint of life’s adventures, she may be able to cause a ripple on my iron-clad ossified en this first requisite, she may belong to the y, to the business world, or even be She must, in whatever position, and so saturated by the injustices ticed upon her by man that she meets every new onc clutching an imaginary dagger that she is ready to plunge in his heart. Her own heart, through man’s treachery, of course, must have become as false as any shade she has cared to dye her hair. She must be a fluent talker, an accomplished liar, and flagrantly an impostor. She must be, of course, full of schemes, want to open beauty parlors, or run an apartment house, or go into the automobile business, and any one of these things that you back her in will bring you in an income for life. Her sati ated palate must be so rapacious in its demand for suitable flavors to arouse her gastric juices that you will have to hire a man to go lobster-hunting for her and stand by her side while she sees the finest specimen thrust upon burning coals. As to furs, she must be positively insane. Upon the subject of dia- monds her reason must be questioned. She must have an inex. haustible supply of stories of men who have abandoned their homes for her sake or committed suicide or become drunk: Not less than managers must told her she would have made a greater actress than Bernhardt and that several moving- picture producers are imploring her to appear in the pictures as Cleopatra and the goddesses. Love she must consider solely from the standpoint of enterprise. On the other hand, she must be able, of course, to feign a grand passion from an emotional and artistic standpoint. “To sum up, her defeats must only redouble her cou making her little short of a monster and yet a plaus entertaining, and diverting one. There, my dear Morrison, is the only kind of woman to awaken within me the least shadow of an interest.” Morrison laughed heartily and went forward to mect his man. Let Them Go to It Visitor in Court-room—What is this law-suit about? Stranger—The creditors of George Bump, Bankrupt. are suing his Trustee in Bankruptcy. Visitor in Court-room—Are you interested in the case’ Stranger—Not in the slightest. ’'m George Bump comicbooks.