Judge — October 21, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Parodies of the Fair Green Caddie WENT behind the seventh tee to try a mashie shot; ‘The Pro, he sez, Clear out now, or [ll make your trousies hot!” ‘The men awaitin’ for to play, they snickered fit to die I went back to the caddie-house, an’ to meself sez 1 Oh, it's Caddie this, an’ Caddie that, an taddie, shut your guff!” But it’s “Won't you help me, Caddie?” when the ball’s lost in the rough When the ball's lost in the rough, my boys, the ball’s lost in the rough; It’s “Won't you help me, Caddie?” when the ball’s lost in the rough I stood behind the sandbox just as quiet as could be; \ guy te out in tweeds come up and sclaffed one off the tee He called me all the names he could, from “Devil” down to “Dub,” But if they ketch me swearin’, w’y, I'm fired from the club. Oh, it's Caddie this, an’ Caddie that, an’ “ Blanky-blanky- blank!” if T repeat wot's said hy some old crank Wot’s said by some old crank, my: boys, wot’s said by some old crank; It's “Out you got” if T repeat wot's said by some old crank But it’s “Out you g They give a chap a bag o' clubs that weighs about a ton They drag him twenty-seven holes, beneath the burnin’ sun; It’s not owr fault that they can’t hit the ball, but just the same, For every rotten shot they make the Caddie gets the blame Oh, it's Caddie this, an’ Caddie that, an’ “Let's play eighteen more!” But if a chap gets tired an’ slow, the players all get sore. The players all get sore, my boys, the players all get sore, Yes, if a chap gets tired an’ slow, the players all get sore F. Gregory Hartswick. The Club Movement in Sandridge 66] SUPPOSE that a town of less than a thousand inhabi tants, like yours, has very few organizations of any kind that bring the people together,” said the tourist to the proprietor of the hotel in Sandridge. “Well, of course we don’t have as many as they have in the city, but we've some,” was the reply. “Now the Knights of Pythias have a social to-night in their hall and the G. A. R. is to have a lecture to-morrow night and the Ladies’ Relief Corps had a big time last night at their annual chicken-pie supper. ,Monday night the Daughters of the American Revolution had a social and the women of the Eastern Star are getting up a fair and the Odd Fellows are to dedicate their new hall next week and the Masons have rented the hall the Odd Fellows have been using. We got a real active Good Samaritan Society and the W. C. T. U. will have a convention with our local union next week and our On ward and Upward Woman’s Club has a waiting list of fifteen while the Epworth League and the C. E. young folks and the Baptist Young People’s Union have a meeting to-mor row night to talk about starting a Boy Scout and Campfire Girls organization. Our Y. M. C. A. has a membership con- test on and we've got a real active Men’s League and a Good Templars Lodge and our Sons of Vet’rans is the latest or- ganization of that kind in the county. Then we got a Merry Twelve Whist Club and a Sunshine Club to say nothing of about three church sewing circles and a Handicraft Society. The women are about to start an Equal Suffrage Club and we are going to have a Hughes Club and a Wilson Club. Take it by and large and we got more clubs than you would think for when you walk from one end of Main Street to the other and don't see a living soul but a dog or two.” —J.L. Harbour rT J BAD you don't like the theatre.” “But I do! I'm very fond of the theatre.” “What do you mean? I heard you say, myself, that it was too rich for your blood and too deep for your intellect!" “Oh, that’s right, you did!) My mistake. But IT meant the box-ofli HER ANSWER IN THE NEGATIVE comicbooks.