Judge, 1916-10-07 · page 14 of 32
Judge — October 7, 1916 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This WWI-era story satirizes romantic entanglement among soldiers. Three male friends—a major, Lee, and Macpherson—all pursue the same woman, Miss Radogan, before shipping to France. Each is wounded in combat and believes he alone has lost interest in her. When they reunite at the front, each expects to "fight it out" romantically, but all three confess they've found "metal more attractive"—revealing none actually care about her anymore. Their relief is mutual and awkward. The satire mocks romantic posturing and masculine ego: the soldiers' sudden indifference exposes their prior interest as superficial posturing rather than genuine feeling. The subplot with nurse Maud suggests that actual devotion to duty (implied flirtation with patients) proves more effective than romantic pursuit. The "Preserving Time" illustrations below appear to be unrelated domestic humor about food storage.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE AWKWARD SQUAD “May I hope—may I assume—that you came down to sce me off?” he asked. “Hardly that,” she réplied, but her smile foiled her candor. ¢ so many friends who are going, you know!” —of course! There are Lee and Macpherson.” so many other social friends!” “But seriously, I would strive for almost any promotion over there if I were sure you are interested—if you——”" “You may be sure I should wish your safe return if you were still a major.” And though he grew ardent, she would commit herself no further. oe © © 8 Over in France the three soldier friends went almost at once into action in the big drive, their commands being kept well together. But they saw nothing of one another. One after another, at intervals which sent them to hospital and afterward saw them invalided to the rear, they tasted the fruits of action, though none was seriously hurt. Macpherson’s hand was mauled by shrapnel; Lee suffered a slight fracture from something kicked up by a bomb; and Minturn’s foot was pinched by a runaway caisson. By chance they met while loafing and just before all three were about to return to duty. There was an unwonted cordiality in their greetings, and after they had compared notes of experiences at the front all seemed inclined to talk of more intimate matters. “T may as well be frank with you boys,” said the major. “I'm going to let you fight it out between you as to the lovely Miss Radogan.”” “To be candid,” said Lee, “there’s no fight in me on that score. I’ve found metal more attractive.” “Why, then,” said Macpherson, who lapsed into native phrase under stress of astonishment, “I’m aback there mescl’! The lady’s a charmer, but a bit too artfu’! So we're all ither. wise inclined!” They looked at one another nonplussed and changed the subject. But a peculiar suspicion lingered with each. Back in the field hospital the chief surgeon was having an argument with a nurse known as Maud. It was whi she was a woman with a title, yet without the too-common de- sire for réclame. Her ministrations had been so successful that she had been assigned to the care of officers whose hurts were not serious, and her success in such cases was a source of wonder even to the doctors. “You are exact in all technical matters related to your duty,” said the chief surgeon to Maud, “yet that doesn’t ac- count for your success, What is your chief aim in the work?” “A desire to do more than my share, if possible, toward the success of the army.” “One term for such a desire is patriotism.” “Perhaps. The weak point in most cases is that you men of science confine yourselves too closely to the mathematics of your art as they relate to physiology. You place too little dependency upon psychology.” “Ah! Then your success is due to the fact that you permit every one of your patients to make love to you?”