Judge — September 30, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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FOOT REMEDY Co. 3512 West 26th Street, Chicago, Ill, Letters of a Self-Made Failure By MAURICE SWITZER With 14 brilliant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin Letters of a SELF-MADE FAILURE Ry Maurice Swiever The “I ERS OF -MADE FAILURE” ran serially for ten w i Lestir’s, and were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit in “the dri- ver’s seat”’ or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a success or think yoursclf a failure, you will find this book full of hope, help and the right kind of in- spiration. If you believe that it is more important to know why ten thousand fail rather than why one man succeed: this book. The LETTERS are written in epigram: tic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a system of quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, regardless of age, sex or station. PRICE, $1.00 LESLIE-JUDGE CO., 225 FIFTH AVE.,N. Y. CITY Passing the Mustard At the End of a Perfect Roll (With all the apologies we can make.) When you come to the end of a perfect roll And you sit alone with your thought And you see in the bank but the empty hole That your two weeks’ trip has wrought, Do you think of the “fives” and the “tens” you had And wish for their sight once more? Do your vanished greenbacks leave you sad When you're glad vacation’s o'er? Well, this is the end of a perfect roll At the end of a journey, too, And it leaves a thought that is big and strong For the coin that so quickly flew. Now mem'ry has painted this perfect roll In colors that never fade, And we find at the end that we need that dough For the bills that we left unpaid. —Edgar A. Guest in Detroit Free Press. It Is, In Fact—‘Some oper’ stars get enormous salaries. “Yes, After reading about the sums they draw, it seems strange that there’s enough money left to carry on the war in Europe.” — Washington Star. The Difference—“ Pa, what’s the differ- ence between a patriot and a jingo?” “A patriot, my son, is one whose bosom swells with pride of his country, while in a jingo the swelling appears in his head.”— Boston Transcript. Personally Influenced—“Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. Torkins, “Iam going to be in favor of government ownership.” “Have you given the matter any thought?” “Yes, indeed. If we had government ownership of railroads I might be able to tell any conductor who didn’t find me a seat on the shady side of the car that I wouldn’t vote for him next election.” — Washington Star. To Help Him Out—“ You are lying so clumsily,” said the observant judge to a litigant who was making a dubious state- ment of his c “that I would advise’ you to get a lawyer.” —Browning’s Magazine. Pioneer Hardships—“‘ When we first came here,” said a Dakota man to his visitor from the east, “our nearest neighbor lived 12 miles away The land suz!” she cried. “Who'd yer borrer from?" —The Christian Herald. Busy All the Time—Little Harold came in the other day, crying and rubbing sev- eral bumps caused by a series of “butts” administered by a pet sheep. “Well, Harold,” said his sympathetic auntie, “what did you do when the sheep knocked you down?” I didn’t do anything; I was getting up all the time.""—The Delineator. Sandy’s Gentle Hint—The Passenger— I wonder you don’t use a brush for wetting your labels, Sandy. The Porter—Wecl, the company disna’ allow us brushes, ye see, so we just have tae use our tongues. The only trouble is keeping them wet.—Pearson’s Weekly (London). Oncea cook’s boy inalun. ber camp, now America’s greatest shipping magnate One of the ‘‘Men Who Are Making America,’’ naturally selected by the poll of thousands of American business men to head a chapter in B. C. Forbes’ re markable series now running in LESLIE’S was Robert Dollar, He has helped, not only to make America, but to make friends for America. He is idolized by the Chinese. This true romance of the wilderness of a western lumber camp and the conquering of the Seven Seas appears in this week’s LESLIE'S. LESLIE’S—SEPTEMBER 28 Besides the Forbes article is aa account of a visit to the Russian front by the only American correspondent accorded this privi since the great offensive—Lucian Kirtland, who repre- sented Leslie’s staff-photographer with the Czar’s army Also a description of the fighting at Verdun by Leslie’s correspondent in Germany who was wounded in action in the first-line trenches. Another page of photog yy De Thompson, Leslie’s staff photographer in France whose pictures have been secured by the U.S Army War College for officers’ instruction. On all the newsstands Leslie's Mlustrated Weekly Newspaper 225 Fifth Avenue New York comicbooks XU