Judge, 1916-09-30 · page 17 of 28
Judge — September 30, 1916 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("Country Justice"):** A judge sentences a young motorist to "ten and cents for reckless driving," then doubles the fine to twenty cents when the motorist reveals he was heading to the judge's office to get married. The satire mocks judicial inconsistency—the judge considers marrying recklessly a worse offense than reckless driving, punishing the couple for presumed moral laxity. **"Plat du Jour" poem:** Satirizes domestic sacrifice across generations. An adult reflects that despite childhood dreams of fancy dining, they're still eating plain food (baked potatoes, spinach, lamb chops) because of children—and expects this to continue through grandchildren. The humor lies in resignation: life's pleasures are perpetually deferred by family obligation. **Bottom Cartoon ("Another Fortune Lost in Wall Street"):** A disheveled man lies on the ground while a boy watches. The title suggests financial ruin from stock market speculation, with the fallen figure representing a Wall Street investor reduced to poverty. The remaining items are brief humorous anecdotes about marital logistics, pastor salary deficits, and farm life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Country Justice Young motorist you marry us. Ten and costs for reckless driving. Listen, Judge! We were on our way to your office to have Justice—Twenty and costs, then. You're a darned sight more reckless than I thought you were. Plat du Jour HEN I was a child Thad good plain food, of course, Baked potatoes, spinach, Lamb chops, apple sauce and rice pudding. L used to think Of what T would order when T grew up. Now Lam grown up But on account of my children I still have plain food, Just the same old simple dict, Baked potatoes, spinach. Lamb chops, apple sauce and rice pudding. Looking ahead I see That presently there will be grandchildren, And for their sakes L will go on having plain food, Baked potatoes, spinach, Lamb chops, apple sauce and rice pudding. It is my earnest hope That before my digestion gives out Tcan vary the menu With lobster, caviare, truffles, aspic and ortolans Kate B. Burton, Paymasters and Paymasters “Brethren,” said the minister, “next Sabbath the pastor's text will b Phe Sure Paymaster—the Wages of Sin Is Death.” Immediately after the service the session will meet to discuss ways and means to mi up the deficit in the pastor’s salary.” Two Varicties Willis—Where did you spend your vacation? Gillis—Swampscott Inn. Willis—What kind of a place is it— the kind where you wish you had brought your family or the kind where you are sorry you brought them? And Besides Neighbor—Does your man take you to the movies? She—Not much. Time I get my dishes washed and the house redd up and the babies to bed and the children’s clothes mended, I’m dead for sleep. And be- you know he’s so busy agitatin’ for the cight hour day. From a Sinner’s Diary KNOW a man who always hoes ahead of the cultivator. When it’s so much easier after! And all one to the culti- vator. Whether you like it or not, that’s the way it is. Life is not always as gay spells. To make 'em bawl: “Now if you cry you can’t go.”” There's love and hate and neither. Sorry day when someone shows you yourself. A homely person feels pretty, no ques- tion about it. I'd rather be wrinkly than fat and wrinkly both. My pa is hoeing his oats. I'd as soon miss having a coat once as to lug one nineteen times when | didn’t want it. A washboard’ll last) me longest of any farm tool. I told a man I wished [ were as gifted a liar as he. He said 1 was way ahead of where he was at my age. He: “What ye rubbin’ clothes by hand for after you harped till you got a washin’ machine?” She: “For the same reason you mow the fence corners with a scythe, having a mowing machine.” Nobody buys that kind only somebody that can’t. —Lynette Freemire. as ‘tis by about the ANOTHER FORTUNE LOST IN WALL STREET comicbooks.com