Judge — September 23, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E The Poilu Tonsorialized HE POILU is going to fight here- after sans beard. It is an army order, reminding one of Walt) Mason’s determined fight A in which he so glori- ously triumphed. aes Someone figured SS, that the total of beards in the trench- p escame to a weight of 120 tons, and the that extra tonnage be swept aside. There has been an outburst of pro-hirsute agi- tation in the trenches. The spirit that animated Nathan Hale is conspicuously absent. The right attitude for the soldier to take would be expressed as follows, after taking careful count: “TI regret that ainst the whisker, efficient General Staff commanded that I have onl: rs to give for As for the relief in weight, it is to be regretted that the remark about “light” infantry has been made already by Gen eral Pierre Cherfils. It is too bad, and may cause international com- plications; the United States And so the French Soldier is no more to be “bearded like the pard!” This war is hard on literature; let pocts mourn! “Beard” suggests “Cheered” and “seared”; the charger “reared,” the returning veteran was “endeared,” the haughty enemy “sneered” and was prop- erly “smeared” for it; but ‘smooth- shaven"’! what is there except “craven,” the melancholy “raven” and “haven No words of war, these! Home OME is a place where people eat and sleep. Occasionally it is where the heart is, but nowadays it usually seems to be where the hat is. : Home is also where the neighbors watch your goings and comings and especially your shortcomings. A man's home makes a convenient place for his wife’s relatives to while away their waking hours. There is no chance that a home will be dull and uninter- esting unless a man has married an orphan. An apartment house is a bunch of S condensed homes which are so small that there is no room for the little comforts of life. Hence children are usually barre What is home without mother? Al. what is mother without a home? Also, how may a woman become a mother if her home is in a modern apartment building? Sixes and Sevens XICANS threaten to shell our motor trucks. Gently, Carranza, gently! You may shed our blood, but dare you spill our gasolene? # The Indianapolis News says that there are no nickel mines in this country. What—no straphangers in Hoosier town? e What are we going to do with woman?— Premier Asquith. What is the grain of dust going to do with the cyclone? 2 Occupation of Mexico: who'll be First Chief next week. ¢ Senator Walsh s that Hughes re- fused to run in 1912 because he was a judge, and as we remem- Guessing should insist on the non-infringe- ment of its citizens’ right to pun, on the high seas or anywhere else. Another outrage is the application of the “horrors of war” idea to the defringement. In getting ahead of us in that shameful manner the French have disre- garded International Law—par- ticularly that clause which states that no opportunity shall be de- nied the citizens of the United ; ~~ lL | fe : & The rural credits law ] cash each week, or you don’t < come back next summer. 2 Senator Jim Ham Lewis says “too proud to fight” was Latin Well, so was “Carthago delenda est.” < 2 ber the returns he was. Spot They say Carranza, if he ac States to make remarks which shall cause foreigners tosay,** You droll Americans!” ry The bachelor A man must have a lot of trouble keeping a wife properly gowned these days! The married one Not neatly as much as he'd have if he didn't. cepts our terms, has “nothing to lose in any sens Has he any sense to lose? comicbooks,