Judge — September 9, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

If You Did This From Early Morning Until Sundown —if the life you lived was the healthful active life Nature intended—you wouldn’t suffer from consti- pation. But that sort of life is im- possible for most of us. We hurry, worry, over-eat and under-exercise. The results—constipation, periodic or chronie—and the use of laxa- tives which aggravate and confirm the constipation habit. NUJOL is a safe and effective means of relieving constipation, and so getting rid of the headaches, nervousness, and depression which constipation causes. It is not a laxative but acts in effect a simple internal lubricant, soften- ing the contents of the intestines and facilitating normal bowel movements, Your druggist has NUJOL. Refuse substitutes—look for the name NUJOL on bottle and pack- age. Sold in pint bottles only. Dept. 13- STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey name and address plainly below, tress. soos City Good Stories Summa Cum Laude—One old lawyer was telling another old about how he stood his examination for the bar in the good days before fry schools got so prevalent. “T lived in a small country town in Kentucky,” said he, “and enj the distinction of being distantly related by marriage to the Presiding } of one of the highest courts in the state. My widowed mother par expected that the judge would see that I got through the examination je the bar with little difticulty, and that I would jump at once into a pa practice. My father had been a lawyer, both of my uncles were la in and then there was the judge, so how could I do otherwise than inherit ges | legal ability? “One hot summer's day I rode horseback to the next town, where the judg was holding court. I called on him in the evening. He received me cordial For two hours we talked about various members of the family, the jody doing some boasting about the pioncers from whom he was’ descent and paying y compliments to the memory of my own forebears. Noo word was said about the Is We had several toddies, and then I wise him good night, and said I would return ¢ the next eveni “Ah, yes,’ he said, ‘then we'll take up your examination for the ba: “The next evening I was on hand promptly, but the judge got started @ Zeb Reynolds, a cousin of mine who had served under Forrest. He told re | ny humorous anecdotes about Zeb and about Forrest, and the everizg was over before we realized it. “A third evening I called. Again the talk dealt with people whom e both knew. Not a word was said about the law, until after our final todd: for the evening, when I modestly suggested that, as the judge was goog to leave the town the next day, there was not much time remaining for ay examination. 4 Hum,’ he mused, ‘that’s so. Have you read Blackstone?’ es, sir.’ tory on Contracts?” you know more than Ido. Be in court tomorrow morning x ave one of the boys present you.” “And that’s how I passed the bar examination.” —NV. ¥. Evening Pet Just a Biscuiter—A lady living in the Midlands engaged a new servat and having views on the question of “followers,” she expounded then # the girl upon arrival. “Mind you, Jane,” she said, seriously, “1 will have no loafers about te You quite understand?" €s, ma'am,” replied Jane. Within the short period of a week, however, the lady had grounds it suspecting that her orders had been disobeyed, and Jane was prompth interrogated. “Did [not make it a stipulation of your engagement that no follows were to be allowed? “No, ma’am. You said ‘loafers.’ “Well, you may have it that way if you wish. You were talking (0! man for ten minutes at the area gate last night.”” “Yes, ma'am. That's my chap!” said Jane, unblushingly. “How dare you disobey my express orders in this way?” “LT ain't disobeyed ’em, ma‘am!" persisted Jane my young man—is a baker, sure cnough, but ’¢ ain't a loafer. | hand, ’e is.” —London Answers. | George—the! "E’sa bixe Couldn’t Beat Uncle Hi—Uncle Hiram from Podunk was taker his nephew into a downtown hashery for lunch “1 guess I'll have some coffce and sinkers,” said the nephew. “Did you say sinkers?” asked the old man “TL sure did, uncle.” r, “1 reds “Well,” said Uncle Hiram, as his eye fell on a spaghetti cate I'll have a mess of fishin’ lines like that there feller is eatin’ out o} Boston Transcript. | fa bowl” Making a Bad Matter Worse—it is a dangerous thing, whea ## up the blunder. have let slip an unfortunate remark, to try to cover * Mrs. G. was talking with the wife of Judge H. about her son's ¢ | a profession. ‘I don’t want him to be a lawyer, she said. uch “Why not?” said the judge’s wife. “I think there is nothing m than the legal profession for a bright boy. Send for booklet, “THE RATION. N’ INSTIPATION.” {| any lies.” ne AL TREATMENT OP CONSTIPATION.” Write your |) “Voy, said Mrs. G., bluntly, “a lawyer has to tell so many lies" it dawned on her that she was talking to the wife of a law added, “That is—er—to be a good lawyer!" —Youth's Companion.