Judge — September 9, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard iducating the Family—‘ Why have you pitched that tent in your art ave a large family and I'm persuading them to take turns sleep- jut there. By the time I get through nobody will want to go camping summer.” —Lonisville Courier- Journal, fis Mistake—Judge (interrupting long-winded lawyer)—Can’t you it for granted that [ understand an ordinary point of law izeyer (coolly) —Your honor, that’s the mistake I made in the lower twhere I lost my case.—Boston Globe. in Expert “Why do you call Bliggins an expert accountant? He upon figures.” No. but there isn’t any phenomenon in the universe that he doesn’t me to be able to account for.” —Washington Star. fer Husband Did—* Do you take any periodical asked the min- on his first round on parish visit Well I don't,” replied the woman, “but my hus! . Ido wish you'd try to get him to sign the pledge.” fhe Obstructionist—" He said if he could put anything in my way gladly do it.” You bet he will; vit Free Press. he’s the champion obstructionist of the age.” t Often Happens So—//e—How did you come out financially with entertainment for the Old Ladies’ Home? ‘ke—The old ladies owe us $30.—Fucts and Fancies. fhe Grounds—*So old Williams is looking for a divorce from his wife, On what grounds?” On the grounds of economy, 1 s."—Brooklyn Eagle. total Loss—Binks—Was the loss on Brown's dwelling total? ints—Yes; the neighbors saved six umbrellas, but recognized them all, delphia Bulletin. WB Course Not—"Does your husband do foolish things with his Wat, I wouldn't say that. He gives it all to me."—Detroit Free Press. xactice—Patient—But—er—theoperation won't be—er serious, will it? oung M. D.—Only for me! L never tried it before, —Boston Globe. \Bright Remark Wasted—AMrs. Vexdere—My daughter plays the | ethaps you've heard her? pcome (with great seli-restraint)— [ve heard the piano. frs. Nexdore—Ves, my daughter Mary is very musical. cwcome—Ah! You have two daughters, then?—Musical America. sheapened—" That's a fine dog you have. Do you want to sell him?” I'll sell him for Sto.” Is he intelligent?” Intelligent! Why, that dog knows as much as I do.” You don’t say so! Well, I'll give you $5 for him.""— Dallas News. \pproved—“Well, Peleg, how do you tind the encyclopedia the feller ‘Q approval? Seems to be all right. Ain't no errors in it so fur as [kin see.” ir-Journal. Louisville $ Usual—* Dearie,” asked his wife at the ball game, running for?" He just hit the ball.” Tknow, but is he required to chase it, too?" —Detroit Free Press. “what is that The moderate man is a boon to the community. Being neither narrow minded nor over indulgent he is the balance wheel of American life. And it is to the moderate man that we direct our best effort in making a remarkably mild and mellow Whiskey -- Wilson — Real Wilson _ That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks, Address Wilson, 315 Fifth Ave., N.Y. That's All! etinent Query—Spenditt—I say, old chap, if you would lend me could make $75. ver—How would you make the other twenty-five?— 1 Right, but Boston Transcript. “What does your wife think of woman. suffrage She says it’s all right,” replicd Mr. Meckton. “Only she’s afraid | of the women are learning a little of the trickery of practical politics their husbands.”—Washington Star. Witty Colonial Dame—The women of the olden « we not lacking in mother wit, A host. who was ¢: Watkins, N. Y., on Seneca Lake OPEN ALL THE YEAR Wm. E. Leffingwell, Pres. LTH RESORT and HOTEL known as THE AMERICAN NAUHEIM In Private Park with miles of graded walks for Oertel bill climbing. On the Southern Ticr Highway, all macadam, Attractive and Well-kept Golf Course Miniature Golf Clock Golf ‘Tennis Motoring TI NLY PLACE IN AMERICA WHERE THE Nau mt BATHS ARE GIVEN WITH X NATURAL BRI THE BATHS are directly connected with the Hotel Acomplete inal Hydrotherapy, Electrotherapy ani Mechanotherapy A Mineral Springs I Th ine Spring No. 1 averages 68 Mache Units per liter of water and is duc to Radvarn Salts tn Solution, Unsurpassed ade the treatment of Heart. Circulatory, Kidney, Nutritional and Ne 3; Rheumatis ‘Obesity. Mlustrated Booklets and latest reports on Mineral Springs ma ‘on request. comicbooks.com