Judge, 1916-09-02 · page 6 of 28
Judge — September 2, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **Main Story**: A domestic comedy about a husband separated from his wife "Mabel" for two months. He receives gossipy phone calls from her friends discussing whether he "got Mabel off" (likely referring to a trip or social engagement). The pathos lies in his discovering she's prepared his workspace with his pipe and her photograph—he realizes he loves her and finds the separation unbearable. **Side Jokes**: Brief quips about marriage, including one about a former long-distance runner who now prefers "the home stretch" (marital domesticity), and exchanges about shoes and fertilizer—typical domestic humor. **Political Cartoon** (bottom right): Labeled "Physically Qualified," it depicts a politician addressing constituents, promising to address "your many needs." The satire targets politicians' empty rhetoric and self-serving ambition—the implication being that politicians claim capability they don't possess. The page reflects era-appropriate humor: sentimental domesticity mixed with cynicism about politicians.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
blew in on the six-fifteen from Atlantic City—first question was ‘did Phil really get Mabel off!’ Oh! you know Mae bout you! She says tell you if you hadn't gotten Mabel away there would have been a tragedy! Hold the wire, she wants to speak to you. In a hurry? Oh! All right. Mae begs to be excused for intruding, so do I! As Ma- bel’s best friends we thought we owed it to her to cheer you up a bit. It’s up to you, you know, Phil!” Bang! A moment later another ring, Mae he supposed, and with a little mutter of ‘‘ Mabel’s best friends” he walked over and took his seat by the window. Things outside seemed to him to have a queer look. *nd in the vines of an adjoining house the sparrows, he thought, were kicking up an awful racket. He wondered what it was all about. Finally, their chattering got on his nerves and he listlessly turned his gaze inward. As he did so a lump rose in his throat. Mabel had put her little work-table in front of his chair, with his pipe, tobacco pouch, a magazine or two, and a little photograph of herself in a new silver frame. He looked quite a while on the little table, presently noting that she had not forgotten the matches. Then he took up her picture, looked long at that, kissed it, and put it down. After that he looked out of the window again, surprised that it had grown quite dark, and that the birds were all perfectly still. His heart seemed stiller. He really loved his wife and the thought of the two months separation from her was intolerable. . A Potted Plant “Wife, what's all this about? Here's a let- ter on fertilizers, stating that your farm needs about so many tons to the acri “It’s all right, hubby. I sent a sample of soil to the Agricultural Department. My geranium hasn’t been doing very well.” But on the Lounge “He used to be a great man for jong distance running races."” “And since he got married?” “Well, he says it's the home stretch that appeals to him now.” GOTISM is the anesthetic Nature administers to deaden the pain of inferiority. After she has applied the anawsthetic, she makes a still more careful diagnosis. If the inferiority is curable, an opera- tion is performed. But if incurable, the wise doctor says to his attendants, “Sh-h! Let him remain under the influence. He can never be any better, so just as well let him sleep himself out of existence, accompanied by the beautiful dope-dreams of his vanity.” —Strickland Gillilan. Beauty Doing Marcella —Do you believe that beauty is as beauty does? Waverly—I think anybody will admit that a silk stock- ing is most attractive when in use. Made Good She—You said you weren't fit to black my shoes. He—Well, I never did black ‘em, did 1? PHYSICALLY QUALIFIED Politician—Friends, there is no man who can hold and cherish in his bosom your many needs better than I can.