Judge — September 2, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“The Book of a Million Answers” A recent newspaper paragraph contained the startling anmounce- Ment that there Is a MAMMOTHREPT! in nearly every American home where there ave children. WHAT IS A MAMMOTHREPT? YOU MAY HAVE ONE IN YOUR HOME AND NOT KNOWL IT IMPORTANT TO KNOW? IT MAY BE A DEADL RM OR SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO SERIOUSLY APFECT THE FUTURE WELFARE OF YOUR CHILDRENt The 3Cs Reference Library SCIENCE, ART, MOVEMENT. THEORY of SPELLS, PRONOUNCES DEFINES the newest as well as the oldest words in the ish language—tells you what a" MAMMOTHREPT ~ is, Being the Most Comprehensive, Compact and Convenient, also the Least Ex Reference Library 5 le to, a9 well as within the reach of, E' AMBITIOUS TO GET ON IN TH use of its Scope and the Instant Accessibility of its contents it has been well called “THE BOOK OF A MILLION ANSWERS” Such new words and phrases as syndicalism, sabotage. auto-intorica tion, syncretism, Pocket Velo, Blue Sky Law, are constantly appearing in print. What do they mean? THE 3Cs REFERENCE LIBRARY IS NEEDED IN EVERY HOME AND OFFICE It Contains 6,296 P. Over 6,000 Illus AND A COMPLETE ATLAS OF THE WORLD PRINTED IN LORS YD TO-DAY for particulars, special price. and terms of this Marvel of Comprehensivenres Compactness. and Convenience. Ninply pign and mail coupon. BUT DO IT NOW! becription Co. < Hide: New Vork City Without obligation, please mail me full particulars of The 3Cs Reference Libarry Name Address City. State We empioy no agents. The PURE FOOD, i Whiskey rt} The Inspector J Is Back OF / ery Bottle ‘appear about our ject on which you may want to be EE" _! ROMEIKE’S ites cect onper ttn san your inends, of any sul pings which y to-date.” Every newspaper and periodical of importance in whe United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.09 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave. N. ¥ tured the remark that “that man must ‘a’ been hurt mighty bad yesterday.” “Oh, were you on the car, Miranda?” asked her mistress. “I didn’t see you.” “Yaas’m, I was settin’ right behind you.” “Well, Miranda, I hope they didn’t get your name, for I couldn't spare you to go to “Oh, no’m; I didn’t give ’em my right name. They'll never find me.” “What did you tell them?” asked Mrs. West, wondering how far Miranda’s imagin- ation had led her. Well’m, I heard you say ‘ Mrs. Hawkins,’ so I sez ‘Miss Hawkins.’”—Harper’s Magazine. Might Have Been Worse—Onc of the clerks at a weather bureau took unto him- self a wife and it has been his endeavor to interest her in his work at the office. The other evening on coming home he said: “It was a terrible storm that swept through Jersey. The wind blew 60 miles an hour for 30 minutes.” “Well, dearie,” said the wife, anxious to show an’ intelligent interest in the matter. “it's lucky isn’t it, that it blew only half an hour? ” “Why?” “Well, 30 miles isn’t nearly so bad.”— Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Rise In Oats—A small boy appeared at the back door of a neighbor's house in Hunting Park avenue a day or so ago and said to the matron who opened the door: “Good morning.” ‘Good morning,” the housewife returned, somewhat curiously. “TI came over to tell you something.” “Well, what is it?” “Last evening my papa was angry be- cause the water boiled out of the steamer under the rolled oats.” Is that so?” “Yes, And then he made up his mind to fix the steamer so that it couldn't happen in. What did he do?” “He put some water in the steamer and then soldered it all up.” Is that what you came over to tell me?” “Yes, and to borrow your step-ladder.” “What do you want with the step-lad- der?” “~ want it so father can scrape all the rolled oats off the ceiling this morning.” — Philadelphia Ledger. Double Proof—A tramp knocked at a farmer’s door and called for something to eat. “Are you a Christian?” asked the good- hearted country man. “Can’t you tell?” answered the man. “Look at the holes worn in the knees of my pants. What do they prove?” The farmer's wife promptly brought out the food, and the tramp turned to go. “Well! well!” asked the farmer. ‘‘What made those holes in the back of your ants?" “Backsliding,” replied the tramp as he hurried on.—The Christian Herald. Diamond Cut Diamond—The enemies of the Germans are fond of asserting that in spite of their cleverness in many directions the Germans are “‘slow-witted.”” These two dvertisements that were printed in a rman newspaper give amusing evi to the contrary. The first one fae “The gentleman who found a brown purse, containing a sum of moncy, in the Blumenstrasse, is requested to forward it to the address of the loser, since he was Tecog- nized.” A couple of days later appeared the re sponse, which, although courteous, had an el air, to say the least: “The recognized gentleman who picked up a brown purse in the Blumenstrasse re. quests the loser to call at his house at a con- venient day.” —Youth's Companion. Keeping It Quiet—Little Margaret lived in a gossipy neighborhood and beingan observant child she had got some ideas into her curly head. One day, having done some- thing naughty, she was sent upstairs to confess her transgression in prayer. “Did you tell God all about it?” asked her mother, when she came down again. Margaret shook her head decidedly, Deed [ didn’t,” she declared. “Why, it would have been all over heaven in no time.” —Boston Transcript. Dilemma—* What's the trouble?” asked the friend. “You seem to have something on your mind “TL have,” replied the conscientious citi- zen. “I'm trying to figure out a proper course of action. “If 1 neglect to apply for enlistment my wife will say I don’t love my country, And if I display a willingness to leave home and march away to the war, she'll say I don’t love her.”—IWashington Star. Not So Severe—‘What’s the matter with you?” “My business has slumped. “Bah! You look so gloomy, I thought it might have been the home team.”— Kansas City Journal. No. 1820 Vol. LXXI September 2, 1916 fe Company. ‘ork as second-class ail matter. oe Pelephone 6632 Madison Squart. ligark. 3 ished weekly by LeslieJudge Company, ick Building, #23 Fifth Avenue, York. v hington Representative c Wyatt Building, Washington, _. Joba A. Sleicher, dent. Reuben P, Steicber, Sey. A. Rollawer, Treasurer. Grant E. Hamiltoo, Art as Cable address Waldron, Editer. SUBSCRIPTIO St aumbers - - s. or 26 numbers ~ by draft on Thirteen Payable in advance or If JUDGE cannot be found at any ne lishers will be under obligations if that fact be ported on postal card or by letter. IVACK NUMBERS: Present year, 10 cents per CFF 1915, 10 cents; 1914, 20 cents, ete. 5 Postage free in the United States, its epeadencien sal Mexico. To Canadian Provinces add 50 cents a year postage; to all foreign countries acki 81.00 8 year. OFFICE, = Chica Ming Milinois Dy ADVERTISING. OFFICE ilding - - + Rostoa