Judge — August 26, 1916 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard A Fizture Pensive she stands upon the shore And gazes at the view; The greenish moonlight wavers o’er Her curling hair so blue! What ponders she? Oh, is it why The water is so white? Or why the gorgeous eastern sky Glows pink-and-rose at night? Or why the skirt in which she’s dressed Blows eastward in the gale— While yonder tugboat’s smoke blows west As straight as it can sail? Mayhap the case of yonder yacht Excites her maiden fears— The man who sails it needeth not A mainsheet, it appears! (This lack enableth him to run Straight north, before the wind— That cast-by-west breeze—O what fun! He's got most sailors skinned!) To read her thoughts would be a sin, To roast them would be mean; Because I saw this picture in A Sunday magazine.—Ted Robinson, in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Satisfied With Less—‘ How often you hear men say, ‘If I had $1,000,000 I would be satisfied.’”” “Yes, and it’s surprising the amount of mental concentration fellows of that sort can bring to bear on borrowing a quarter.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Where He Was—A young mother hear- ing her two-year-old crying loudly, rushed to him and inquired anxiously, “What is. the matter?” “The dog bit me,” was the tearful re- sponse. “Where were you when the dog bit you?” “Boo hoo! I was—I was by—I was by— the dog!” —The Christian Herald. It Depends—Teacher—Now, children, here’s an example in mental arithmetic. How old would a person be who was born in 1888? Pupil—Was it a man or a woman?— Woman's Home Companion. Cause of Destitution—Old Lady— Here’s a penny, my poor man. Tell me, how did you become so destitute? Beggar—I was always like you, mum, a-givin’ away vast sums ter the pore an’ needy.—Facts and Fancies. Economical—Iiolet—Adele is such an economical little body La Rose—Ah, he'll trudge for miles from one law ofiice to another to save $10 on a divorce.—Boston Globe. Colder Ice—Mrs. Youngbric ting our ice from a new Youngbride—What’s wrong other man? Mrs. Youngbride—The new dealer says he'll give us colder ice for the same money. Boston Transcript. with the he very. ‘You getting Ma. (aay) ng It 0.. Baltimore. ... not the least of the farewell tokens given me, was @ packet of cigarettes made of Virginia tobacco which is so highly esteemed by gentlemen of the south.” Originally made for the gentlemen of Virginia, Richmond Straight Cut Cigarettes were first brought north by friends from the south, Today they are known in every state in the Union as the one cigarette which has always retained the quaint old-time delicacy of “bright” Virginia tobacco at its best. RICHMOND STRAIGHT CUT —SE- er 0 oT See Cigarettes PLAIN OR CORK TIP Fifteen cents Also in attractive tins, 50 for 40 cents: 100 for 75 cents, Sent pre- paid if your dealer can- not supply you. RICHMOND. Vesnma USA Allert Vintors wasimen aan, PREFERRED BY GENTLEMEN NOW AS THEN MAURICE SWITZER’S Letters of a Self-Made Failure With 14 brilliant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin ‘TTERS OF A SELF-MADE FAILURE” ran serially for ten nd were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit i tor merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a success or think yourself a failure, you will find this book ‘full of hope, help and the tight kind of tion, If you believe that it is more important to know why te rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The LETTERS are written in epigrammatic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a sys- tem of quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, regardless of age, sex or fare Price, $1.00 LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City Letters of a SELF-MADE ; FAILURE thousand fail ~ By Maurice Switzer