Judge — August 19, 1916 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN THE LIFE ONE DAY that, as you'll admit. But when she cried be go with her that fixed it, Td trust her And when she showed me the bathing suits sh there the matter [v's a fact that they're modest than the street aus a million miles away Ss how weanng down was clinched far more dresses women wear.” “We've both won prizes, my friend. Your wife and mine identical in all this, How wire roasted the pictures of bath she in the Said are in my ing costumes saw papers before she went! they wereoutrs immoxlest. Made her own, and tried fa woman on Fifth dus neon Why, Pve scen more attire than she disclosed! ter much, she said to let me sce it Avenue in street “Well, my wife doesn’t go in the w air is what she wantec and probably rides a great deal. if ) I gues She has my any way. The sea car down there, Fine ros you kne If there ever were two happy fat men bound for the sea- shore, these two were the ones to label as exemplary samples When they arrived they made for the san that their respective wives were stopping and they felicitated them “hotel, for it happened at the seme place, OF AN ANTI-TIPPER Everybody seemed to be on the beach or in the water. W. through the throng the two fat men struck for fre atheletic ahead ing ou water. They) saw two youngish, fellows swimming easily toward float upon which two graceful women ng costumes were posing and signaling, gurgled the fat man who had been lucky in match- aches, all right!” spouted the and then, after taking a long breath: “they've got it on the mermaids, sure enough. These chaps ahead are making for the Moat. Let's beat ‘em to it! ‘What'll your wife say, partner? * Mraid, are Why, a man on the sea has a right to hail any craft he sights, hasn't he? “Albright! Vib take a chanee t They proceeded abe “But those fellows have warned “Well,” grunted the first fat man, using the “Till make it soon cnough, 1 guess. One of those women is my wife Molly!” “Hey!” hailed his companion and throwing his arms excitedly. in very strik “Golly!” “there ing coin are at “Ver her, you? usly for a few minutes. are swimming faster. The girls must vem!” erhand stroke, slowing up. treading water, “Hey! Hello, there, Susi No Danger Flubdub Miss Yellowleaf sitting ether, and in a hammock t Hokus—Look at selves upon another coinci dence. They proposed to pussy foot until they should come upon their better halves. The water looked so good they had a for a bath, “Do you swim? the m window place on the train. *Likeaduck! D'je ever t man who couldn't? all floaters! It's the tissue, you know.” “Ves. Grea comes to the to “ Haw—haw—h-a “Haw! ha ‘They laughed so boister men often do atten So craving asked n who had won the haw! ously —as fat that undesirable tion attracted. they evaded the curious was Pokus—-Oh, knows the ropes. I guess he The Mermaid WISIE TE were a With nothi comb my Through and through herma through and Vd bind them up with coral In ‘Then wash my And fold them air a houdeir exp. ity’ fingers my lap. For if L were a mermaid T would not have te care Ii, like the famous Flora Vd nothing new to wear T would not have to worry Over maids that come a Nor if the cost of liv Were high or very low For poets all ils Have nothi y merni Ase te and in good time got their bathing suits, and made for the shore. They nothing of their wives. Bachelor—Wken I marry I shall ‘on being the boss! Benedict—-Perhaps you will first, to avoid waking her up. But olden tre thr But comb their cs Throw throw Eleanor Piatt Kearney. put my foot right down, and insist I'll bet you'll take your shoes off