Judge, 1916-08-12 · page 9 of 28
Judge — August 12, 1916 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains two separate satirical pieces about impractical safety measures. **Top cartoon**: A lawyer sits on a porch while visitors discuss him. The joke plays on euphemism—they call him their "most prominent lawyer" but won't claim he's a "criminal lawyer" because nothing has been proven against him *yet*. The satire mocks both the lawyer's questionable reputation and the euphemistic language people use to avoid direct accusations. **Main article**: Two Jewish businessmen (indicated by Yiddish words like "nu," "mish pocha," "schmues," "fress") debate whether to sell life insurance policies to canoeists who can't swim. Henry argues this is absurdly dangerous; Max dismisses the concern while trying to sell policies anyway. The satire ridicules insurance companies for prioritizing sales over safety, and includes period ethnic humor through the characters' dialogue and speech patterns typical of early 20th-century American comedy. **Bottom cartoon**: An efficiency expert times passengers' breathing on a crowded vessel to maximize space—satirizing corporate "efficiency" taken to absurd extremes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Natice—That there? That's our most prominent lawyer. Visitor—Criminal lawyer? — Natice—I wouldn't go so far as to say that, leastways they ain't proved nuthin’ agin’ him yet. MARKOWITZ AND HENRY—They Discuss the Dangers of Canoeing ky LOU RAB “yr IT WAS a life insurance company,” remarked Henry — knocking them canoes. Can’t you talk about notting nicer Shapiro, the bookkeeper, one Saturday afternoon, “oscr, than them little ships? I was going to talk to you about if | would ask such nonsense questions like how old was your — losing the account of ‘K and K’ from Toledo. Their buyer grand-grandmother or how cra was was mad at us like anything because he got indigestion trying the uncle that left his money to t- to fress himself to death at our expense! What do you think, hospital instead of the mish pocha.” Henry, maybe we send his wife one of our new 307’s to fix things “Nu, what would a smart feller like up? I want a little advice from you, like from a brother-in-law, you ask?” inquired Max Markowitz, and not a lot of schmues about canoes. Henry, remember! the skirt manufacturer, who was seated — we're not selling life preservers! Talk sensible! Maybe we with Henry, his brother-in-law, on the — should send his wife two upper deck of a steamer headed for one of the popu- lar seaside resorts on the Atlantic. “What would Lask?” repeated Henry. “The foist question would be ‘do you swim?’ and if the answer is ‘no,’ right away, would I ask ‘do you canoe?’ And if the answer to the second que: was ‘yes,’ and I was the insurance company, answer would be ‘No, notting doing by insurance for you!” I would much better give out a policy for a racer by otomobiles or a Zeppelin driver on top of Paris or an umpire by baseball than to a feller by canoes what can’t swim, Beli me, Max, fighting in the trenches is a baby ce to a man what goes canoeing, when he can only swim like an elephant. “What are you bothering my head about ca- nocing, all'at-oncet: "sald: Markowitz In'a:tone Passenger—What's the idea? Guard—Why, that's our efficiency engineer of disgust. “Somebody would think you was a timing one-half the passengers to breathe in while the other half breathes out. It's salesman by flat-bottom boats, the way you're to get maximum room and comfort, sir. comicbooks.com