Judge — August 12, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

corer D Insect Soups R. HOWARD of the Department of Agriculture has, come out in favor of insect soup. He says that there is no reason why people shouldn’teat bugs. Dr. Howard ought to be more explicit. What sorts of insects does he want us to make our soups out of? How can he expect us to become enthusiastic over his culi- nary ideas until he does a little raving about the deliciousness of stewed June bugs or boiled grasshoppers or roasted butterflies, or dragonflies en brochette, and tells us how to cook them on a gas stove? He should remember that most of us have never tasted any insects, ex- cept for the gypsy moths and the mos- quitoes that have flown into our open mouths as we sat on the front seats of the open cars. Nor is there any reason why we should stamp and cheer and clap for Dr. Howard until we know how much it is going to cost to buy enough in- sects for a mess. Anybody who has tried to catch a large bull mosquito on a dark night can get an idea of the difficulty which a mosquito-hunter is go- ing to experience in capturing 50,000 or 60,000 mosquitoes for a two-man soup. He can also get an idea of the high prices which the housekeeper will have to pay the butcher (or the gro- cer) for supplying her with a good order of this elusive insect. If Dr. Howard continues to keep silent on such important details T O as these, the nation’s appetite for insect soup and other bug delicacies bids fair to remain in a state of excessive languor and torpidity. Tempora Mutantur? IX thousand years of progress? They have changed you little, madam! The woman problem? So we have—and so, God wot, had Adam. She's not the same? So say you? Sir, the primal facts combat it! Man erst did hunt her with the club, And now must hunt her at it. The Campaign Is On AMPAIGN managers, we read, are “rolling up their sleeves,” but the boys in the trenches will want to see the roll. This year’s Armageddon campaign bands, in lieu of “Onward, Christian Soldiers,” are to play “Backward, turn Backward, O Time in thy Flight.” L Sixes and Sevens THe New York Court of Appeals says that whatever goes up and down is nota vehicle. About the second day out, though, one’s stomach wouldn't ejaculate “May it please the Court” if told it was a velocipede. 2 How beautiful these sunshine days are. Tt makes us feel that summer is near. The crabs are coming now and it soon will be time for those large croakers to be biting.— Beaufort (N.C.) News. Well, look out you don’t catch one of ‘em when you're out boating. 2 Schenectady, N. Y., police are looking for a man who bit off his wife's nose. And what for, pray? Didn't he tell her, in courting days, that he could eat her alive? 2 Topeka, Kansas, has an alligator that gets up on its hind legs, at 4 A. M., and “sings like a fro These be the allegations—perhaps this was the alligator!—that incited Eli Whit- ney to invent a new kind of gin. We have the largest homogeneous population.—Champ Clark. Largest of homo and least of genius—judging by samples now in public life. ¢ Once of these fine days the strike agitator will wake up and find the labor market flooded with demo- bilized Mexican generals. e Villa will persist in dying for the afternoon papers, but he evens up by starting something for the A. M.'s. micbooks.com