Judge — August 5, 1916 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

and learn why millions find in it the very acme of wholesome, deli- cious refreshment. Demand the genaine by full name— bichnames eacourage subetituben, THE COCA-COLA CO., Atlanta, Ga. Send for free dookle “The Romance of Coca-Cola.” ee at a If you can draw a little and want to draw more, you have an opportunity to learn at small expense to yourself. EUGENE ZIMMER- MAN has an established reputation as a car- toonist. He has put some of the tricks of his trade into a book, “CARTOONS AND CARICATURES” bound neatly in 34 mo- rocco which will be sent to you prepaid on receipt of $1.00. ZIM BOOK 8-5 Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City | | shot of the day, whistling straight down the course. Jone THE REAL DIARY OF A REAL GOLF GaAnp wo oT. NICHOLS Conditions—elder statesman foursome; all handicaps above twenty Jonesey and Whiter vs. Browning and Ayling; Nassau scoring. FS HOLE—Spectacular win for Jonesey pair, Browning foodie and Ayling driving five balls into the pond. Second hole—Abnormal chest expansion seis to interfere wih | Jonesey’s s just across the brook. Eight vivient assauly | necessary to carry the position. Score, even. Third hole—Only feature furnished by Ayling hitting the same tre three times. Fourth hole—Whiter begins to develop the celebrated mole, or tunnel. the-rough, drive. On his fifth stroke he arrives at, and in, the hundred. yard bunker. Browning develops peculiar strangling cough. Fifth hole—Browning slices a drive into the woods and retrieves the ball between two roots. While he is chopping it out, Whiter shors symptoms of pleasurable apoplex: Sixth hole (very short but shly trapped; par three)—Aggregte scores, twenty-seven, largely due to Jonesey’s fad of hopping out of ote ditch into another. Jonesey says he might as well go to war, if he’s to live in the trenches. eventh hole—Good, consistent bumblepuppy for all. ighth hole—Whiter moling again; Browning's cough much worse. Ninth hole—On the fairgreen Browning announces that four cuppy in succession overtax belief in pure chance: somebody has got to s | stepping on his ball | Tenth hole—Jonesey loses a ball, but so does Aylin Compromise ona tie hole, constructive sevens all around. Whiter discovers a package cigarettes in a pocket; era of good feeling. Eleventh hole—Jonesey happens to be flanking the main body by fit yards or so, at his second shot. He is discovered of a sudden, p Mother Earth with unbridled ferocity and the club he chances to k handiest; cause: attempt to play a brassey on a sand-hill, with coin: loss of three yards. Twelfth hole—Browning, on in three, takes four putts. — He proclaim his imminent and permanent retirement from a sport fit only for cong idiots. Thirteenth hole—Whiter, in trouble in one and out of it in seve: vents a new nether pantheon and invokes it idly. Fourteenth hole—Ayling has to lift out of casual water, and then plays two return engagements in the same puddle. Fifteenth hole—Whiter discovered to be out of cigarettes and loss caste as a trifling, and wholly improvident person. Sixteenth hole—Jonesey demands the right to put a John-Hancoc signature on the “Never Again” roll: grounds; two clean failures to bt the ball. Seventeenth hole—Grand tour of inspection of all hazards, wate. the full strength of a gloom-burdened company Eighteenth hole—Whiter, instead of tunneling, gets a drive with 19 yards carry and fifty yards roll. | Browning sends the prettiest brassy trying to loft, tops the ball, which runs like a scared rabbit to within a foot of th Everybody down in five, par ge | lag. Ayling sinks a thirty-foot putt. for the hole. Nineteenth hole—Consolation prize for everybody—a high one. Browning to Whiter, confidentially: “They can talk about thet rons, but it’s distance with the wood that gets you the Says Aylitg to Jor “It’s on the green you win matches.” Well, now, Te | | banking on the approach shot, myself,” says Jonesey. Whiter and Ayling, on a re-audit of the card, find the match is a te. “Play it off next Friday, what say?” suggests Jonesey. Sur cries Browning. “To bl with engagements! Same crows, same pairing? Sure!” Traced He was at his club and had just told a story. Absolute silence vailed for a fraction of a minute and then the president spoke, slow # firmly. “Brown,” he said, “I know that we are all men of the world, bet there is a limit to all things. If you tell another story of that nature shall ask for your resignation. Where did you get it from?” “My wife heard it at her bridge club.” icbooks.com