Judge — August 5, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Autoist (to garage owner) —Look here, this bill for repairs you sent me is wrong. You forgot to charge for the paper it’s written on, and the time you spent in making it out ! the $180 spent to secure admission and membership, as well as for the clothing and other accoutrements, which came to $63.88. In case I should follow the advice of the strange gen- tleman and utilize my golfing clothes as a costume for dramatic work I will refund the latter amount, with the exception of $4 for the extra pair of shoes, which, as will readily be seen, are of no practical use to me, and could not be used for some time to come, asit will take a long while to wear out the other pair of golf shoes on the stage. A Feminine Habit By the seashore; on the golf-links; in the ballroom at the Spa, Ma is auctionirfy her daughter, just as Grandma auctioned Ma! —Jane Burr. The Only Solution of the Puzzles T WAS Sunday. _I sat in an easy chair on the hotel piazza. There was not a single mosquito to be felt. The advertise- ments of the place had been absolutely correct! Looking out upon the splendid stretch of road before me I failed to see any automobiles either in sight or passing. Across the road I beheld the golf course, and over in the shade an attractively inviting little club-house. On the piazza of the club house I saw a bell-boy sitting disconsolately beside a great tub COUNTRY CLUBS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM Sir Wyndham—Aw, may | ask why Lady Crompton isn’t here? Madge—Mother is going to stay in the city because she needs the exercise she gets from shopping. filled with cracked ice, and bottles of divers shapes. The place was deserted! Up the road a bit church bells were tolling and hundreds of men and women were flock- ing into the houses of worship. The men were especially numer- ous, and cach carried his own prayer-book. Down at the other end of the hotel piazza my gaze en- countered a pretty girl of about nineteen and over ten feet away from her was a handsome young man of about twenty- four. She was knitting, and he was reading Shakespeare. They did not even glance at each other. A voice sounded in my ear, and I looked into the kindly face of the hotel manager. He was offering me an expensive igar. ‘You owe us about a ‘d and sixteen dollars for board,” he remarked casually, with a pleasant smile, “but there's no hurry about paying it. Stay with usall summer if you can!” I pinched myself. Confound it! 1 was dreamin, William Sanford. Constant Reader Stacy—Lacy says he takes Fudge every week. Tracy—He does—if I don’t watch my copy. Saved by His Wit ITTLE JOHN was hungry, and the potatoes were very hot. He discovered this latter fact after he had put a generous piece into his mouth and spat it out quickly. Looking up fearfully to see how this performance would affect his father, he found the parental hand uplifted threat- eningly. Before the blow fell, however, the little fellow got in his word. “A fool would have swal- lowed it and been bumt!” In the burst of laughter that followed he — escaped punishment. Directing Him am secking an honest man—"” stated Diogenes. sir! Almshouse right , sir This airyoplane’s all right, all right!” comicbooks.com