Judge — July 29, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Send for booklet, “THE RATIONAL TREATME If You Did This From Early Morning Until Sundown —if the life you lived was the healthful active lite Nature intended—you wouldn’t suffer from consti- pation. But that sort of life is im- possible for most of us. We hurry, worry, over-eat and under-exercise. The results—constipation, periodic or chronice—and the use of lnxa- tives which aggravate and confirm the constipation habit. UJOL is a safe and effective means of relieving constipation, and so getting rid of the headaches, nervousness, and depression which constipation causes, It is not a laxative but acts in effect as a simple internal lubricant, soften- ing the contents of the intestines and facilitating normal bowel movements, Your druggist has NUJOL. Refuse substitutes—look for the name NUJOL on bottle and pack- age. Sold in pint bottles only. Dept. 13. ARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey name and address plainly below, nae AUreS8....22--222+ 5 T OF CONSTIPATION.” Write your mean something to wonder at. Now, if she remained at home ocey sionally and looked after her home, that would be wonderful.”"—Louiseilly Courier-Journal. The Bluff—“I suppose you are planning to go to Europe, like every. body else, after the war is ove “Well, no. I haven't mad such announcement to my friends,” “Why don’t you? It won’t cost you any more than it will two-thing of the other people who say they are going to Europe after the war over.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. On the Safe Side—Mother—If I give you a dime, Charlie, will you keep it to put in the plate Sunday, or spend it selfishly on yourself? Charlie—I will let you know, mamma, after you have given it to me.—Chicago Herald. vy He Smiled—“You look very smiling this morning, Toner,” aid Bailey. “T guess I ought to be. T went toa fortune-teller last. night and she prophesied immediate financial reverses,” chortled Toner. “T fail to see anything very joyous in that,” said “You would if you knew anything about my finances, 1 Tone tell you right now that if they don’t reverse pretty quick I'll be busted.”"— New York Globe. Worse Than That—Jones (to his grocer) —You scem angry, Mr, Brown. Brown—I am. ‘The inspector of weights and measures has just been in Jones—Ha, ha! He caught you giving fifteen ounces to the pound did he? Brown—Worse than that. He said I'd been giving seventeen.—Tit What He Was Trying to Tell Her—He—I—I have been trying to tell you something for some time, but—er—but—— —Oh, dear me; how romantic. What—what is it, Mr. Shye? We—Your—your-— She—Oh, do go on— Me—Your hair is coming down in the back.—Florida Times-Unios. Two Compensations—‘No matter what you may said the s optimist firmly, ‘there are two compensations for all the draw backs of life.” ‘es?”’ asked the pessimist. “What are they?” “Blondes and brunettes.”—Chicago Herald. Scientific—Patient—But, doctor, you are not asking 33 for merey taking a cinder out of my eye? Specialist—Er—no. My charge is for removing a foreign substance from the cornea.—Rehoboth Sunday Herald. Beat Him to It—‘“If it hadn't been for his wife, Barton would have squandered his entire fortune.” “What did she do?” “She just anticipated him."—Boston Transcript. Something Wrong—‘There is something wrong with the soc system,” remarked the thoughtful woman. “What m. you think so?”” “That bandit’ who made all kinds of trouble is still roaming th world a free man, and my husband, who is as conscientious and law-abié ing a citizen as you would want to meet, is locked up on jury duty."~ Washington Star, How She Managed It—‘My wife managed to drive a nail to-<diy without hitting her thumb.” “How was that?” “She inveigled the hired girl into holding the nail.” —Louisville Court Journal. Slight Misapprehension—“Is your husband an altruist?” “1 don’t think so,” replied young Mrs. Torkins; “and I almost bee nobody asks him to join. Charley has so many uniforms now that | hardly take care of them. Washington Star. Sounded Ominous—‘ He insists that he is not worthy of me.” “T don't like the sound of that. Better look up his financial rust again, girlie.”"—Louisville Courier-Journal. Downan Out!—Jo Cose—Is Mr. Downan in? Ima Stenog—No, he went out to lunch, To Cose—Will he be in after lunch? Ima Stenog—No, that’s what he went out after—Chaparrul.