Judge — July 1, 1916 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CELLULOID SONNETS OLGA PETROVA I know the “cinches” in this world are rare And sinecures are mighty hard to find; Most of us buckle daily to the grind And work like sin to earn our little share. But Fortune now and then selects an heir And dowers him above all humankind; While we get lemons—or perchance a rind — He cops the choicest of the orchard fare. I would not envy any lucky scout Nor covet any man his snap, it's true: But if I did, “twere easy to pick out The guy whose job my envy should pursue: The greatest “cinch” on earth, beyond all doubt Is getting paid for making love to you! W. Kee Maxwell, Convincing Pompous Doctor (after examination) — What makes you think you have rheuma- tism? Distressed Patient—I feel it in my bones. Railroad Racket An old railroad man sat with a friend on tel piazza as a string of chappies went by in their ashy togs. “Passengers or freight?” smiled the friend. “Empties,” said the old man. Sere and Yellow “Uncle Totterly is a very old man,” said thelandlord of the Petunia tavern. “In fact, he dates so far back into dim antickerty that he can actually remember the time when this town didn’t need a new depot.” The Reason They asked him why he wandered wide ‘er the earth did roam. “Because,” the sodden wretch replied, “There is no place like home.” Birthday Greetings From Madrid comes the twenty-fifth an- of our valued contempo ro. Mt gives June great wish his Castilian friend many Spy returns of the day, and to express tehope that Blanco y Negro will continue Seareer as honorably and successfully as “retofore, GORE AT BEAR SPRING WATER * {ts purity has made It fam We the ease ot si class stopperedl Dutties. (ADF) waters of thes found Kidney trouble and al! Here Are the Facts About Nujol aro.us oat @ Sore, UR booklet, ‘*The Rational Treatment of Constipation,” sum- THE RATIONAL marizes briefly some of the TREATMENT § facts which doctors have CONS TERIOR learned about constipation— what causes it, and why the use of Nujol as an internal lubricant is an effective method of treatment. Casual dosing with laxatives and cathartics is an extremely unwise way of dealing with — a disorder which is so full of potential dangers as is consti- pation. STANDARD OfL COMPANY ow ssc If you are interested in learning the facts about a far saner and safer treatment, you should have this booklet. Clip and mail the attached coupon. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your drug- 7 gist does not carry Nujol, we will send you a pint bottle prepaid Z to any point in the United States on receipt of 75 cents—money / order or stamps. Ke Standard Oil Company Gisuone Nec dete STANDARD OIL COMPANY 7 Degas (New Jersey) olsen yo oat, BAYONNE “NEW JERSEY 77 of Consus —_ Approved by W. Wiley, 4 Director of a 4 reau Foods, Sanitation and Ifcalth, y Name 7 sescet and No... 7 4 7 Cieyand State .. 7 Free Trial Ss E UAL KNOWLEDGE A $2 BOOK FOR ONLY $ ‘soolens a i] | ty Wintest scot Mat, PhD. Noted Authorty and Lecturer, PLAIN WS i yea oa. Miedmont Red Cedar, Chests oi ood ‘es Write for $6 pace tod “$1, postage 10 cente © PIEDMONT RED Choaw CHEST Statewtten 8.08 | AMERICAN PUBLISHING CO., 709 Winsten Bidg., Philad MOUNTAIN PARK HOTEL 30? Hokies NoninecaRonint cessibility of location. in absolute freedom from rs and fos in the perfect purity of its health giving atmasph i rroundings the North Carolina Hot Springs stand pre-eminent among health and ple resorts of America Golf Tennis: Bexitrei Swimming Poot Mountain Trails—Horseb: ding pecifle inthe cure of rhenn umatic cout, Fi LLER, Manager comicbooks.com