Judge — June 24, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles Another Gas Robbery A man wno was scized by violent tooth- ache did not succumb any too readily to the gas administered by the dentist, but in the course of time he was sleeping peacefully, and the offending molar was removed. “How much?” asked the patient, after the ordeal was over. ¥ ili ” said the dentist. lings!” the man exclaimed s said the dentist. “It was an unusually hard job getting that tooth out, and you required twice the ordinary amount of gas.” “Well, here’s the money. But the next time I take gas in your place I'll want to look at the meter.” —Chicago Journal. Important Testimony A lawyer was examining a Scottish farmer. “You aflirm that when this happened you were going home toa meal. Let us be quite certain on this point, because it is a very important one. Be good cnough to tell me, sir, with as little prevarication as possible, t_ meal it was you were going home to.” You would like to know what meal it said the Scotchman. ; I should like to know,” replied the counsel, sternly and impressively. “Be ¢ you tell me the truth.” Yeel, then, it was just oatmeal!” —Pitts burgh Chronicle. A Bargain in Shoes—A nice young man resolved to present his beloved girl with a pair of shoes. He accordingly procured her measure and purchased a ten-shilling pair. In order to make the present appear more valuable he marked twenty-five shillings upon the soles of the shoes, and, at his re- quest, the clerk, who was a.friend of his, put a’receipted bill for twenty-five shillings into one of them. The presentation was made and the sweethearts were happy, as sweethearts should be. But mark the sequel. The girl examined the shoes in the day- light and was not satisfied. She was con- vinced that her sweetheart had been cheated in the purchase of such a pair of shoes at that price. She decided to go and change the shoes and obtain a better bargain. Next day she appeared in the shop and selected a pair of shocs, price fifteen shillings, and politely requested the clerk to take back the shoes for which she said her friend had paid twenty-five shillings. The receipted bill was produced in proof and the bootman found it impossible to go “behind the re- turns.” The smart girl took her fifteen shilling pair of shoes, obtained ten shillings in money and went home happy and satisfied. The boot seller sent a fresh bill to the young man, who promptly paid the difference, but he thinks that girl may prove too smart for him later on.—London Answers. She Knew Where—‘Hubby,” an- nounced Mrs. Stylover, “I’m going to town tomorrow to see the new hats.” “You forget,” her husband reminded her, “that tomorrow is Sunday. The shops will be closed.” “Who said anything about shops?” she retorted. “I’m going to church.”—Buffalo Express. Lame Splitting Headaches— Harvey W.Wiley doom For No Reason At All keeping Bureau of és Fouts, S08: HESE puzzling headaches are due fre. Health quently to intestinal absorption of toxic substances (auto-intoxication) without appar- ent constipation. Nujol is particularly valuable in such cases, be- cause it has the property of absorbing and remov- ing intestinal toxins, besides giving safe and effective relief in most cases of periodic and chronic constipation. Nujol is not a purge nor a laxative. It acts in effect as a mechanical lubricant. It prevents the intestinal contents from becoming hard and so facilitates the normal processes of evacuation. Most <lruggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75c.— money order or stamps. Write for booklet, “The Rational Treat- ment of Constipation.” Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey! Bayonne New Jersey CAPE MAY New Jersey Ostend—Trouville—Deauville all in one Smartest of American Beaches CAPE MAY HOTEL New modem fireproof resort Hotel, facing directly on the ocean. Every comfort. Finest bathing beach in the world, Deep sea and inland fishing, sailing, motor boating; good auto roads; golf, tennis; direct train service. C. A. WOOD, Lessee Booking Office, Hote! Warrington 16t Madison Ave.. N.Y. Tel. 2770 Murray Hill comicbooks.com