Judge — June 17, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ved by {tation and Health Letters of a SELF-MADE FAILURE By Maurice Switzer Health is the Only Preparedness ISEASE strikes first at the unprepared —at those who haven’t been careful to maintain a sufficient reserve of vitality as protection against the attack of sickness. Constipation saps your vitality, lowers your resistance. By permitting it to continue you are indulging in a dangerous form of physical unpreparedness. Laxatives and cathartics are upsetting and tend to form a habit. Frequently they intensify the very condition they were meant to cure. The use of Nujol as an internal lubricant is entirely free from these objections. Nujol doesn’t upset the processes of digestion and assimilation, because its action is purely mechanical. It softens the contents of the intestines, oils the mucous lining and so encourages normal, healthy bowel activity. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trade-mark. If your druggist doesn’t carry Nujol, we will send you a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75 cents— money order or stamps. Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey MAURICE SWITZER’S With 14 brilliant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin The “LETTERS OF A SELF-MADE FAILURE right kind of inspiration. Tf you believe that i station. Price, $1.00 Leslie-Judge Co., 225 Fifth Ave., New York City Letters of a Self-Made Failure ran serially for ten weeks in Leslic’s, and were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit in “the driver's seat” or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a success or think yourself a failure, you will find this book full of bope, help and the is more important to know why ten thousand fail rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The LETTERS are written in epigrammatic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a sys- tem of quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, regardless of age, sex or Passing the Mustard Dialect Cussing We've never wrote about the Spring In any form of Dialeck; So, let’s go to it now, by Jing, By Gosh, by Thunder, and by Heck! The laziness are in my bones It’s gittin’ too durn hot tew plow! (Ez T remarked to Grampaw Jones Jist yistiddy, by Jinks, I swow!) I druther go a fishin’ than To do my chores, fer I ain't stuck On work—but I’m a workin’ man, An’ can't lay off, Gol-ram the Luck! I'm so tired, Dodgast it all, That I am forced, like other men, To write this Reublike sort of stall, Where rhymes is easier found, by Hen! —Ted Robinson, in Cleveland Plain Dealer. Happy Expectation—" Are you looking forward to the summer with pleasant a pations?” asked the optimistic citi “Yes, indeed,” replied the pessimistic person. “A great many people I'm tired of looking at will go out of town for the sum- mer.” Birmingham Age Herald. Not Brutally—She—And did you break off the engagement? He—Not brutally, you know. Just told her what my army pay is.—London Opinion. Different With the Operators—* Very few typewriters receive the care and atten- tion that should be bestowed on them,” remarked the Old Fogy. “You must be talking about the mach aren't you?” asked the Grouch.—Cincinn Enquirer. Home—‘“Flubdub’s home seems badly neglected.”” “Well, his wife is interested in prison reform, better roads, pure politics, and clean plays.” —Pittsburg Post. Brute!—‘I thought you had given up burntwood art, dearie.”” “Ferdinand, how can you be so heartless? ‘This is a pie.””—Kansas City Journal. Just Luck—‘How did you contrive to convince your wife you could not afford to own an automobile?” “Pure luck on my part. She wanted to have an old dress cleaned and bought a gallon of gasoline.”—Richmond Times-Dis- patch Around, All Right—Teacher—Who can tell me the meani a “round-robin?” Bright Boy- miss, it’s what that burglar was doin’ last night when they nabbed him.—Boston Transcript. Economy—Crawford—I hear that he’s economizing. Crabshaw—Yes; he doesn’t buy anything now unless he can get it on credit.—Kansus City Star. Getting Into Society—“ Guess I'll have . to rig up a middle name,” declared Flubdub. “T never had one, but I gotta have one now.” “Why so?” “My wife demands one to print on her visiting cards.”—Kansas City Journal. comicbooks.com