Judge — June 3, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BREAKERS Bearcat’s Education ELL, we got our least boy, Bear- cat, packed off to school tuther day,” in a relieved tone stated Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “He didn’t want to go, and held back right actively. I reckon he aimed to skin out for the woods, but we sorter surrounded him, and he embezzled under the house. The rest of us camped around the hole while three or four of the boys crawled under after him. Somehow, he managed to slip out through an unguarded chink in the foundation, and was leaking out for the tall timber before we knowed it. We put chase and were about to overhaul him when he went cluttering up a high tree, and out ona slim limb that the rest of the boys wouldn’t attempt. * “Tt looked like we was doomed to dis- appointment, but just then an old feller from the other side of the Ridge came driving along. Seeing us concocted in a mob around the tree he figgered that a lynching or some such function was on hand. He rotched down and drug an old squir'l rifle from the bottom of his wagon, and cracked down on Bearcat before we could stop him. The limb was fractioned between Bearcat and the tree, and down he came tumbling and swearing. We swarmed all over him before he could get away. So he is in school now, and finds that an educaton ain't as bad as he thought it was. In fact, he told me yesterday that he was sorter glad he'd got one.” —Tom P. Morgan. Met His Match Jack—Mr. Benedict is married. Belle—Do you mean it? Why, he used to say he would never marry unless the girl was just so and so. Jack—Well he struck one who sewed him up all right. How It Happened “My purse is always well filled,” the chronic bachelor; “because it feels the He grinned with all the pessimism of a ed hyena. touch of a woman's hand.” stated never The Commuter’s Garden By W. LIVINGSTON LARNED Ww \ FIRST we caught the garden craze And vowed to know fresh-lettuce bliss, Brown Mother th, those happy da Looked something—more or less—like We tilled it, hoed it up, and sich; And planted there, a host of things; ‘The weather prime—the earth was rich, And came the sprout that Summer brings: pe ee ee ee Oe Then higher grew these mystic blades That pierced the brown breast of the soil; And, in a dozen different shades y came, as tokens of our toil ALC Cc icc icc c ccc iit. But, mark you, in amongst the bunch Queer critters also came to view; And, as they thrived, we had a hunch That they were strangely rank—and new YY saaa ria ie waaay TT tae We sorted out the vampire weeds, But, in the process, I admit We rooted what a garde To give the classic swin pe Cees ( Ciel me Co CCC {GC CAG At last one onion and a cuke’, A squash and seven hills of bea’ Came forth to mock us and rebuke, That we should raise such meagre greens: ($3 } needs to it We've counted up, Commuter-style Approximately, what it cost, And ONCE will do us for a while, Our CROP was what th’ damed thing lost: 28$9899$$6889$3 5598998 Of Two Evils Sillicus—What do you suppose er couples do when they decide they been in love long enough? Cynicus—I suppose they either break off the engagement or get married. aged Preferential Sweet young thing—Do you believe in early marriage? Old grouch—Every young man should take a wife, his own preferably. A Woman's Way Stella—If at first you don't succeed Bella—Cry. ery again. ‘i Sep ees . aire comicbooks.com