Judge, 1916-06-03 · page 5 of 28
Judge — June 3, 1916 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains two distinct sections: **"Heads" (left):** A brief humorous essay about the cultural and practical significance of heads—how they hold hats, display intelligence, and serve as ornaments. It's light satirical commentary on human vanity and social pretension. **"Her Proof" (right):** A domestic humor piece about a newlywed bride who bought duck eggs at market but dropped them in water, causing them to float away. When her husband questions the purchase, she defensively insists she never sells duck eggs—implying he's mistaken about what happened. The joke plays on her unconvincing excuse and marital miscommunication. **"Something New on the Great White Way" (bottom):** An illustration showing laundry on a clothesline, likely satirizing theatrical fashion or urban domestic life, though the specific reference is unclear without additional context.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HEADS EADS come on barrels, beds and beer. Cheeks, chins, noses. eyebrows and bald spots come on heads. Heads are used to hold hb then brains. Necks, caressing arms, candid remarks, call-downs, pillows and dampened towels are used to hold heads. Some heads hold more than others. hodies, temper, conceit, and now and The more a head holds the more it may give out. The less it holds the sooner it may give out Sometimes two heads are put together. In such a case two heads may be bet- ter than one, especially if the lips of one head are placed in juxtaposition to the homologous portion of the other head. It is always considered stylish to wear heads level Water finds its own level, but water on the brain is not found in level heads. uphill work Success, Keeping one’s head level is usually 1 pretty girl passing by, and peroxide are of the things which turn hea Families, governments and all institutions have heads, but in many cases they are merely figurehi Heads were intended td be idea factories but and more their worth is being judged. solely by value as. ornaments. more their HER PROOF 66T'VE brought back those eggs you gave me this morning,” said the new bride, as she began to take the articles in question from her bask They're duck eggs.” “Duck ¢ ma‘am. 1 don’t never sell no duck eggs. “But T tested them,” triumphed the matrimonial novice. “1 dropped them into water and they floated.” sneered the grocery. boss. “You're mistaken, Blocking Her Mrs. Willis—Do you have a hard time getting money out of your husband? Mrs. Gillis—Ves, indeed. He makes it a rule never to retire without first putting a couple of mice in his trousers-pocket SOMETHING NEW ON THE GREAT WHITE WAY comicbooks.com