Judge — May 13, 1916 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In the heart of America’s most famous vineyards, on the sunny shores of Lake Keuka, New York, is made from selected grapes by the most skilled vintners. Fermented in the bottle and carefully aged and pronounced by connoisseurs to be superior to any wine on the market. SPECIAL DRY and BRUT Insist_on Having It oqip SEAL RED—the best the Market SOLD RiERYWhihi PURE’ FOOD 9, /hiskey Is Back Of Ce sy Be ory Bottle = Earn $3,000 to sI0 000 Annually BECOME AN EXPERT ACCOUNTANT ITY, Dept. 582 H, purses Look and Wear Vaitey GEMS Perec ) Are being worn by the wealthiest people oad everywhere.Stand acid and fire di: fest. So bard they scrateb a 6l lianey ‘Britt twent eld, regular diamond Lemay ag —by express—eh: you can see and wear t! Deleesyoubuy them. Writejer Peis Uthat eted catalog end Free Trial Ofer WHITE VALLEY GEM CO., 819 Walsin Bidz, lodianapolis, Indiana fears. any style, 14K, CELLULOID SONNETS ROSCOE ARBUCKLE If, Comus, god of laughter, should again Take up his habitation on this earth To supervise the job of making mirth And lightening the life of jaded men, He would return—I'll wager you a ten— Not as a wight of fleshliness bedearth, But as a gent of embonpoint and girth, As roly-poly as a petted hen. “ Nobody loves a fat man ?""—That was writ By some dyspeptic with a leaky spleen— A cheap and artificial form of wit Which basely says a thing it does not mean. Who loves not Fatty ne'er has seen him flit Thru seven reels of woe upon the screen. -W. Kee Maxwell. Singular, Really “O#. WELL,” he said with a sigh, “we all ma ake fools of ourselves some time in our live “Where do you get that ‘we’ stuff?”’ she asked in her usual sweet way. The Pessimist’s Idea Opportunity rapped loudly at the pessi- mist’s door. “A bill collector,” growled the pessimist. ‘Il keep quiet and he won't know I’m here.” Comparison He—I don't sce why you have so much trouble in getting good servants. She—Well, I'm not having any worse time than President Wilson. A Variation Polly—Did he propose to you in the orthodox manner? Dolly—Hardly. He asked me how I would like to wear his neckties. A Dangerous Test “How can one determine whether a man al or not?” asked the teacher. ick him,” suggested Micky Flynn. “Tf he knocks yer block off—he ain’t.” If you're thinking of buying any motor- driven vehicle or boat, but are in doubt as to what particular ty cee is Ee suited to your nee Slauson, M. E., itor Wi Leslie’s Motor Department, will give you unbiased in- formation that will help you solve the problem. Mr. Slauson is an automo- bile expert who is in an unusual position to help settle motor questions. For years he has been studying the problems of thousands of motorists and his own experi- ence and his complete records of other motorists enable him to advise you promptly and accurately on any matter relat- ing to automobiles, motor-cycles, motor boats, motor trucks. This service is offered to Judge readers without any charge or obligation. Write him a letter ask- ing his expert advice or fill out the coupon. Motor Department Leslie’s Weekly 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City the purchase of a f you have any preferenc ) Address, comicbooks.com