Judge, 1916-05-06 · page 7 of 28
Judge — May 6, 1916 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes and light satire typical of early-20th-century American humor magazines. **Main content:** - "Its a Wise Chauffeur" presents brief comedic dialogues mocking professional incompetence and domestic absurdities - The doctor's inability to see the wife's tongue; the patient questioning why the doctor repeatedly examines the appendix - Marital humor about a wife nearly depositing a check she needed for household expenses **"Song of a Modest Reformer"** satirizes selective social activism—a reformer content to fight one specific nuisance: barbers cutting hair only on Saturdays, creating a weekly grooming crisis. The poet laments this "haircut fiend" rather than addressing major societal wrongs, poking fun at narrow-minded crusaders. **"Answered"** jokes about an elevator operator's literal interpretation of his job's limits. **Marginal humor** includes observations on youthful romance and marriage—cynicism about young men's ignorance versus old men's resigned indifference. The overall tone: domestic, class-conscious satire with no specific political content—typical of Judge's gentle mockery of American middle-class life.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
xz ITS A WISE CHAUFFEUR WHO KNOWS HIS OWN EMPLOYER Its Appearance 6¢THE DOCTOR looked at my wife's tongue yesterc rid skimpy lit- tle Mr. Meek. “He told me in confidence afterwards that he could scarcely see it at all, It appeared like a mere blur, to him.” Like a Watch ly \\ _——_ Doctor—The appendix VA — is very delicate; a great 1 —\ deal like a watch. > Patient—Is that the reason why you want to take mine out and look at it every once in a while? Fancy! Wife—You know that check for five hundred you gave me this morning—I had a dreadfully narrow escape with it. Husband—How so? “Why, just as I was about depositing it, I found out it was needed to make my bank account good—so I got it cashed at the butcher's. Fancy my depositing it, and then not having anything in the bank!” What He Called It “My henhouse collapsed yesterda I'd call it layer-cake, mysel Song of a Modest Reformer WOULD not be a great reformer And lead the glorious fight of fights; I would not be the castle-stormer To hurl grim Wrong from off the heights; Content I'd die, ha I'd led from out his The man who holds—misplaced endurance His hair cut jobs till Saturdays slips in just before me, I would get a hasty shave, tions nearly floor me al, he scans each wave “Just trim my bair a trifle.” The fires of wrath within me bla T fain—or more than fain—would stifle -end hair-depleting craze. When, And s This wee! Five other days there are, but rusty Are then the faithful barber's she Is there no blue-law, ancient, mu To save men in these hurried years? From Monday until Friday’s gloaming ‘There's time to snip those locks—but nay The haircut fiend must do his roaming Among the shops on Saturda —Arthur Chapman Answered of the elevated conductor. “how far do you go in a day?” The boy thought a moment “When I get to the top I stop and when I get to the bottom I stop,” he said. “George,” queried the curious passenger - Uncertain Bessie (fifteen)—He’s a friend of the fam- ily, isn’t he? Marjorie (fourteen)—I don’t quite know. All I know is that he kisses me as if he didn’t have a right to. A man who marries young doesn’t know any better, and one who marries old is tired of what he knows. MUSHROOM (" PATCH fone Sei Oh, dear, it must be raining! Everyone has an umbrella up. comicbooks.com