Judge — March 11, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We Train You E 'y MAIL! heme. tn every time. 18 ta not enderstand, LaSalle Extension University, Dept.382-H. Chicago, TIL. Everybody’s Drinking Them Evans Alle. tout ARE YOU? vans & Sons, Hudson, New York 1786 1916 COPY THIS SKETCH can do wit {E AGE'S GLUE 10°) BETTER THAN PASTE LEARN OPTOMETRY FITTING GLASSES Is 1 proftabie Profession—for beth sexes. ery ams ow oberusve 6 gates atordaratuntes band {a our degrees i ortaie. and Tuerative calling. Inec Most Optometrists EARN FROM $1600 TO $2000 YEARLY OUR EXTENSION, Home Study. Department gives short and ‘complete course, study 1a epare me. pecematy Deets ara for our FREE Catalog: Digest of Courses and protemion (CHIAGD SCHOOL OF REFRACTION, Liocale Bide Sate 2017, Chicage, Stories with Smiles Fixing the Clock—“I’ve nothing in particular especially to do tonight, so 1 think I'll fix that clock,” decided Ossup Spwiggs. “I'll show the people in this house whether I put off fixing it because I, didn’t know how or merely because I didn’t have time before!” And he lifted the handsome eight-day clock off the mantel and, after a half hour's concentration, removed the back. Dusting off the jewel-mounted ditchy spring with the end of his handkerchief and pouring oil on the revolving gadgets and shimp- winders, he screwed the back on a wound up the clock and shook it The clock continued in a state of innocuous inactivity “Humph!” Ossup Spwiggs exclaimed to himself, and this time took the face off and i au de cologne into the left port- hen, after breathing a prayer on s and rubbing it in well, he returned the clock its face and shook it again. It remained in a condition of non-com- mittal somnolence. “Heck!” swore Ossup Spwiggs, and hurled the blamed thing forcibly into the stone fireplace. Instantly it began ticking with sensible industriousness “Leave it to me!” said Ossup_loftily and placed the clock back on the mantel and lit his pipe with the air of somebody who really was somebody.—Louisville Times Roundabout—Necessity is the mother of invention, and the hungry Frenchman told about in a biography recently published in England illustrates the old adage anew He was in an English restaurant, and wanted eggs for breakfast, but had forgotten the glish word. So he got around the difficulty in the following way erre, vat is dat valking in the yard? “A rooster, sir.” Ah! and vat you call de rooster’s vife?”” “The hen, sir.” “And vat you call de children of de rooster and his v sd “Chickens, sir.” “But vat you call de chicken before dey are chicken?’ “Bring me two.”—The Christian F Questions and Answers—A Cherryvale historian has gone back through the files and produced this story: A woman with a rapid-fire interrogatory apparatus approached a news butcher on a Frisco train out of Cherryvale during the high water a few days ago and asked ex- ay, when is the train due at the next stop? How is it running? How deep is the water on the track? How do you sell your bananas?” The vender of fruit and literature, who was something of a poet, answered: Nine o'clock. On time. Knee deep. Three for a dime.” —Kansas City Star. Had an Answer—‘ She looked killing.” “How can a woman look killing?” demanded the purist “T suppose it is when she looks daggers,” answers the resourceful party of the first part.—Kansas City Journal. er Grandmothe: RANDMOTHER knew the benefits of Old Overholt Rye —how it cured colds and served to tide the patient to convalescence. Old Overholt Rye g “Same for 100 yeon™ still possesses the same help- ag ful qualities, and is the premier whiskey for medi inal use in the home. \WERHOLT & CO. - Meabareh. Pa. A Clean Cover is as Necessary as a Clean Collar ‘This binder witt keep your Copies of Judge neat and keep them together, too, The year's collection of Ju n, tn pleture, type and color can be compactly kept for the long winter eventng. A year of Judge that you have enjoyed Is too good to lose. A 10 bound 8 a year saved al binter holds the coples securely without Actac- it cannot stip of tear the leaves and It does not ers. It leaves the whole page exposed A year of Judge in the binder is as easy to read as a maga- zine of equal size. $1.50 brings the binder post free LESLIE-JUDGE CO. 225 Fifth Avenue, NEW YORK ROMEIKE’ PRESS CUTTING BUREAU Fou, your Inends, or any sub; will send you all newspaper <lip- pings whicl “up-to-date, h may appear about on which you may want to be in the United States and for 109 29! per and periodical of importance tices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave. N. Y- rope is searched. Terms, $5.0 RS eit Os Ae comicbooks.com