Judge — March 11, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With the College Wits Lx 458 While You Sleep Jester. How He Felt—“ Well,” said the doctor, “you're cured at last. How do you feel?” “T feel,” said the patient, looking at his wallet sadly, “I feel as if I could start life all over again.” —Lehigh Burr. Query — Happy —Hey, tell me some- thing! Gus—Sure, what is it? Happy—Are the progeny of _ polecats, kittens or splinters?—Tiger. But—Cox—Isn’t it funny they spell “Cincinnati” the way they do? Borx—Most people don’t.—Brunonian. Brevity She wore a dress, For brevity The soul of wit Wisconsin Awk. What It Means The Freshman S Was raw and green Says Lampsh: What does dogma mean?” Abright guy stuck his hand right up “It means a dog that has a pup. —Penn State Froth. | What She Thought—//e—I don’t think this cocoanut taffey is very good, do you? She—O, it’s knotty, but it’s nice.—Siren A Few—First microbe—Heard you had 2 big party last night. Many of the boys Second microbe—Naw, only about three million. —Tiger. Noteworthy—Musturd—Hear they're after Bill again on account of his 1 ga Custard—Yeah, so they worry him? Mustard—Not a chance. He shows a complete lack of interest.—Juck 0° Lantern, Alas!—Prof—What three words are wed most among college students? Weary Fresh—I don’t know. Prof —Correct.—Awgwan. A Bargain—“How much vas dose collars?” “Two for a quarter.” How much for vun?” NERVOUS TEMPERAMENTS APNE, NEED NUJOL Director of Good House- Bane HE typical sufferer from constipation is radon and the man or woman who is “always on the Hest jump” — who works hard, thinks hard, worries a good deal, and takes little exercise. This restless activity of body and mind causes func- tional derangement resulting in constipation. And this condition is very apt to become chronic, espe- cially if the patient is constantly dosing herself with laxatives, purgatives and other bowel stimulants. The physician’s first word to a patient suffering from constipation is “drink more water.” His second is likely to be “take a pure white mineral oil for internal lubrication.” Mineral oil, which eminent specialists both in this country and abroad have for years prescribed as the rational treatment of constipation, is found in its ideal form in Nujol. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75¢c.—money order or stamps. Write for booklet “The Rational Treatment of Constipation.” Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) New Jersey Nujol Bayonne REGUS PAT “Fifteen cents.” “Giff me de odder vun.”—Yale Record. — Jisstpoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Frult SAMS AL Meal appetizing tonic. Sample of bitters by mail astamps. C.W. Abbott & Co., haltimore, Ald. (Ad) Once a Flanders Guest, Always One HOTEL FLANDERS 47th Street, Just Off Broadway YORK A Fireproof Hotel, with Every Modern Improvement 300 Rooms. Every Room with Bath $1.50 per Day Upward The tamous Piedsn: This hotel is situated in the most ideal sec- free think "We pay the rete tion of the city, surrounded by leading shops, colons and plumes department stores and theatres. Exceptional orchestra. A booklet gladly senton application. HORACE R. SHARES, Prop. comicbooks.com