Judge, 1916-02-26 · page 8 of 28
Judge — February 26, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* (an American satirical weekly) contains multiple short humorous pieces mocking early 20th-century social conventions: **"Her Grievance"**: A newlywed wife refuses to speak to her husband after dreaming he kissed another woman. The satire ridicules women's emotional irrationality and the absurdity of punishing men for dream behavior. **"Beauty Hints"**: Ironic advice including "Never get married" and "Never go to war"—mocking self-help literature while suggesting marriage is undesirable. **"The Five Little Pennys"**: A poor couple complains about having five children, pun on "penny/pennies," mocking working-class family planning struggles. **Illustration "A Woman"**: Shows a woman primping her hair while a visitor waits, satirizing women's vanity about appearance over substance. The page targets stereotypical female behaviors (irrationality, vanity, chattiness) and marriage itself—typical turn-of-the-century humor reflecting anxieties about gender roles and domestic life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Her Grievance F ANYONE had asked Ned Lawton what he thought of married life he would have vowed that the past ten months had been the happiest he had ever spent. There had not been the faint- est cloud to mar their happiness until yester- day. That morning. however, wifey came to breakfast inan un- happy, sullen mood He questioned her un- ceasingly during the few minutes spare before running for his car as to the cause of the unusual and sudden change in her manner, but his solicitations were only met with a snappish answer. That even- ing, however, Ned came home in a cheerful mood and was prepared to find his darling on the porch waiting for him joyously. But he was doomed to dis- appointment, for she was in much the same mood as when he left in the morn- ing. Somewhat angered, he demanded an explanation of her behavior, to which she replied with a sob: “Ned Lawton, if ever I dream again that you have kissed another woman I'll never speak to you as long as I live!” The Five Little Pennys ‘AID a very poor couple named Penny “Of children we can’t afford any!” But when five had been born, They remarked with fine scorn: “Though we're poor, we've a Nickel too many! Generous Man “I hear the divorce allowed each to have the child “Yes—he wants it day Paraphrasing Somebody When lovely woman stoops to jolly A man, he falls for it, b’golly! —Strickland Gillilan. Beauty Hints IND your own business Always agree with g Ne i Never brag of your pugilistic ability. Wait until the car stops. Never get married. Never go to war Paradox “There is only one way that people can live happily—that’s together. “Yes, and there is only one way that peo- ple can live at peace—and that’s apart.” A Woman A woman seems to worry more about her back hair than about her future life Martha—So Belle gave her husband a Swiss-chime watch for his birthday ! Changing It a Little HALL I, wasting in despair, Sigh when other youths declare That my girl is cold a bit When they try to make a hit When they come and say Irene Is the worst frost ever seen And they marvel I endure Such a frigid temp'rature? Nay, I pat my back and wink At myself, and then T think “If she be not cold to me, What care I how cold she be?” Walter G. Doty. Nothing New Have you any modern fiction? Librarian—No. madam; our book buyer has been on a six-months trip. Madeline—Yes ; it plays “ Home, Sweet Home” at eleven p. m. comicbooks.com