Judge — February 26, 1916 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MET ten women on the street, and one was blooming, modest, I sweet; the other nine were punk. Nine scized male passers by their coats, and told how women needed votes, and all that kind of junk. I’ve naught against the vote for dames; if they’re inclined to play the games their weary husbands play, if they to polling booths would chase, let them proceed, I will not place a hindrance in their way. But O, I wish they never more would back me up against a door, and talk about their Cause; for women with their mouths ajar, and raucous voices, surely are the worst that ever was. I met ten women on the street, and one was beautiful and neat; the other nine were frumps; for when the women sprain their throats explaining how they want their votes, their beauty bumps the bumps. I doubt not that their Cause is just; but, jings, it fills me with dis- gust to see them look like hags; and when their platform they de- clare, they all forget to comb their hair, and run to slouchy rags. I met ten women on the street, and one had pretty, dainty feet, and nine wore sloppy shoes; the nine were standing in a crowd, and lifting up their voices loud, exchanging suffrage news. No doubt their husbands and their sons and other poor afflicted ones were eating cold canned beans, while they were planning red-hot screeds, concerning short-haired women’s deeds, to print in magazines. I met ten women on the street, and one, to look at, was a treat, a girl with sunny hair; complexion like a morn in June, and ey that glimmered like the moon, and teeth beyond compare. I said, “I'll bet a hundred scads she boosts no foolish suffrage fads, she doesn’t care for votes; a girl like that’s a beauty spot, and when she e has got those frowsy beldames’ goats.” ed her with a beaming eye, for such a damsel passing by kes no discordant note; and then she raised on high a sign, con- taining but the single line, “The Girls Demand the Vote.” The Weather-Man THe weather-man lay dying; it was only a matter of a few hours, the doctors said. Motioning to his sobbing friends, he waited until they had crowded around his bed to listen to his last words. He gave careful directions for the disposition of his belongings, and outlined the general features of his funeral. then he murmured “And I want you to put upa nice tombstone for me. with these words carved on it: ‘Probably Cooler.’” Ostracised “Pilkins has, I see, been ostracised by the modern New York Bohemian set.” “What did he do?” “Why, he went to an evening function they gave without eve! ing clothes.” Habit a VERY parent should make a close study of the process of E t, the only psychologist d to rewrite William habit formation,” says Dr. Anna who has heretofore steadfastly refus James’ wonderful chapter on that subject. ‘I have reliable in- formation that children, both male and female, begin the formation of habits quite early in life. Parents who allow their offspring to develop in a natural, desultory manner are maltreating a tremen- dous responsibility. “Let me be more specific. One of the families over in the third block west from my.apartments has a child—a boy, if I mistake not. This young animal, I am told, took its first step with its left foot. The toes were turned in at an unbecoming angle and the leg was bowed out. A day or so later the process was repeated verbatim, you might sa: stasi¢s of the two occasions not one mem- ber of the entire household of father, mother, maternal grandmother and two nurses noted the discrepancies in the technique of the child’s locomotion. “That one repetition was fatal. A habit had been formed. To this day (and the child is now over three years of age) the unfor- tunate little human being invariably starts walking with his left foot, toes turned in and knees bowed out.” “T therefore maintain that it is criminal for parents to allow children to repeat the most trivial act or motion without some varia- tion of detail. Habits are otherwise sure to result." —H. W. Dee. Compensations I When the powder lies thick on the maidenly ch Sneer not, O my brother! Admire and be me For the powder (a lesson I'm trying to teach) Is only the Fuzz on the face of a Peach, IT The Circular Saw that she wears for a hat Endure, O my brother—don't criticise that; You'll recall it next ir with a sad, yearning thrill, For then she'll be wearing one much wider still. I Spot that she labors so hard to impose ch and a quarter south-east of her nose Beauty Spot that; but if it were a mole ould grieve the sweet depths of her innocent soul. Vv O brother! I give you a tremulous hand! I, too, am a martyr and T understan But courage! for all of our woes turn to bliss, And all is forgotten in one maiden’s kiss!—Lowell Otus Rees SUB ROSA Clarinda—That skating costume you wore at the rink last night was certainly a dream, and everyone was wild about it. Where did you get it? Hebe—Don't breathe a word, dear! That was only my last summer's bathing suit. comicbooks.com