Judge, 1916-02-26 · page 10 of 28
Judge — February 26, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous pieces satirizing social pretension and domestic life: **"A Fiendish Pleasure"** mocks a homeowner's petty revenge—he bills his butcher for "wear and tear" on his property and air consumed while visiting, totaling $89 against the butcher's $88.75 bill. The joke is the absurdity of nickel-and-diming a tradesman and the narrator's smug satisfaction over 25 cents. **"A Unique Specimen"** celebrates a rare man of genuine civility who said "please" to telephone operators, becoming beloved. It's gentle satire on how courtesy has become so rare it's noteworthy. **"Gallery Gods"** (poem by Charles Hanson Towne) contrasts theater patrons in expensive boxes—wealthy but miserable, forbidden to laugh freely—with ordinary lovers in cheaper seats who genuinely enjoy the show. The satire targets upper-class pretension and emotional coldness masked by displays of wealth. **"That's the Reason"** (bottom cartoon) shows a discouraged worker claiming he "never done nothin'"—ironic commentary on unemployment or firing, though the specific context is unclear. The page overall satirizes class divisions, social pretension, and domestic absurdity.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Fiendish Pleasure I SENT my butcher a monthly bill today. It was the first that I have sent him. For wear and tear on the path leading to the tradesman’s en- trance of my home for the past month I charged my butcher twenty-seven dollars. For wear and tear on my back steps and kitchen floor I charged him thirty- five dollars. For use of air con- sumed in breathing while on my property I charged seventeen dol- lars, and for use of door-knob, ten dollars. This made a total of eighty-nine dollars. The bill my butcher sent me for the past month was only eighty-cight dollars and seventy-five cents. So this leaves a balance of twenty-five cents due me from my butcher. The price of a good cigar. I tell you it gave me a great deal of satis- faction to send the first monthly bill to my butcher! —William Sanford. A Unique Specimen “T ONCE knew an eccentric man,” stated old Festus Pester, “who when he had gotten the desired number on the telephone did not demand fiercely, ‘ Whizz zi: In- stead he invariably said civilly, ‘ J. Poppendick, w: Buckover.’ His fun; ral was the largest ¢' held in the neighborhood where he had re- sided, and thereat strong men broke down and wept like children, being convinced that they would never again sce his like.” The Queen Bee Y WIFE is like the honey bee— But while it gathers honey, How wonderful th Gallery HE PEOPLE in the boxes Are very fine, my dear; raiment, How splendid they appear! They never deign to glance at us, Sitting, fond lovers, he They have their wealth and jewels, Their panting limousines, Champagne and birds at midnight, I COCR TRAM HARTMAN oF Gods And yet—are they more happy Than you and 1? . . . Not so! Look at their sorry faces, * Row after solemn row. They never dare to laugh, like us, Who really love the show! Ah! let them sit in grandeur, Tier upon shining tier, In many an eye, lack-lustre, On many a mouth, a sneer. . and at the play, re far beneath us, dear! Charles Hanson Towne. AAD THD THAT'S THE REASON She cajoles me with honeyed words, : Discouraged one—| don't see what dey fired me fer. 1 never done nothin’. And stings me for my money! comicbooks.com