Judge, 1916-02-19 · page 10 of 28
Judge — February 19, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical humor typical of early 20th-century American magazines. The main cartoons mock domestic life and social pretensions: **"Three Things"** features a husband (Dimpleton) confronting a guest (Whittler) who has been held up as a superior model to him for twenty years. The joke hinges on mutual humiliation—both men's marriages are revealed as flawed, creating a "stand off." **"On the Screen"** parodies melodramatic silent film plots with exaggerated action sequences and dramatic cliffhangers, satirizing the predictable formulas of early cinema. The comic snippets target various social anxieties: a congressman's digestive problems (possibly alluding to the Panama Canal's Culebra Cut), marital discord, a futuristic world without wood requiring brick spankings, and courtship mishaps. The tone throughout is cynical about marriage, masculinity, and modern life—typical Judge material mocking middle-class pretensions and domestic arrangements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mrs. Dimpleton turned to her apologetic, submerged matrimonial tenth. “He knew about it. Didn't L tell him to see the electri ! But that’s the way Jack always does. Now John,” turning to Whittler, “wouldn't have failed to fix it immediately. I wish, my dear,” turning to her husband again, “that you were only more like John. “Look here!" asserted Dimpleton Whittler stopped him. “Just a moment, old man.” toM He turned . Dimpleton: cuse me, Sallie,” he said, been holding me up as model to Jack for about twenty years, haven't you?” “T certainly have. If——” Mrs. Dimpleton gasped. So did Mrs. Whittler. Then in a flash they all seemed to understand at once. “I guess it’s a stand off,” said Whittler, with a cheap insulting tone of triumph in his stridulant voice. “Yes,” replied Dimpleton, almost leer- ing, ‘but suppose I had fixed that bell— why this thing might have gone on forever.” On the Screen HE sheriff'll shoot up a highwayman bold, An engine will ran off the track; A girl to the wandering Arabs is sold, The traitor is stabbed from the back. All sorts of gun-play, “Coming next Sunday.” The bridge will be blown up, enemies tricked, ‘A submarine dives in the drink; A villain shows up, a hero is picked, They fight on the precipice brink With much weeps and sorrow, “Shown here to-morrow.” —Panl E. Gould Foreseeing the Worst Eminent specialist—Your trouble is with the alimentary canal. Member of Congress—Great More Culebra cut, I suppose. A babe in the house is a wellspring of pleasure—when it is well. Gocthals! Three Things things there are you should not lend ntance of a friend; That is, if you expect them back:— Umbrellas, books, and hearts, alack! Harold Susman, It Depended Impecune—Vil bet T don’t get a valentine this year, Crabshaw tailor bill? Why, have you paid your Johnny Reads the War News “What is a counter attack, Pa?” “When your mother goes shopping, Johnny.” Belle—Is he a man of affairs? Anne—Mer y, no! In the Woodless Age HEN everything’s made of concrete In a world where there's nary a stick, The child that has been indiser Will have to be spanked with a brick C. L. Edson She Owed Her One Bessie—All men are alike Cora—Oh. are they? Then, of course, you are not sorry you married Harry How, Indeed? “How can you expect to. m: daughter when you have no mone “How could you expect me to marry her if I did have?” He never had a chance. The first girl he proposed to accepted him. comicbooks.com