Judge — February 12, 1916 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MRS. JOLLEY’S EMANCIPATION HOLIDAY to-morrow and no cook! Most women would consider it a tragedy, but I can’t mind it a bit, in fact I consider it an emanci- pation. Lilybud has become a nuisance: she gets on my nerves. Preparing breakfast this morning was a genuine lark, and what a feast it was, the best Ihave had in adozen moons. Jack said anything as good as en cyl I 10ur that breakfast worries him, for he is afraid he“ ave eaven too,” You mu: ‘e me the recipe for those biscuit, Aunty; how did you make that cof It was simply delicious—a melted dream. Don’t for- e e fell in love with get to show me how you broil steak. A meal like that is an artistic triumph, exquisite harmony, an ode to Epicurus. The smell of it would have made the King of Dahomey’s mouth water. He was a famous epicure, you know—fattened his wives (he had a great. many of e aug ter (@) them) on thickened milk, made each one take a gallon a day. I suppose you would hardly call thickened milk an epicucean dish, | but it is nourishing, and such things, epicureanism and nourishment, are the largest stock- | | cognate. Youcan’t afford to be narrow and technical—you have to make things broad. There is nothing that contributes more to the rich- . ness of life than breadth of view. holderof theEm ire Going back to domestic difficulties—System is the golden key that \9} unlocks all domestic problems. I am not sure that it is perfectly accu- . rate to speak of unlocking problems. You have to solve them or do some- C ] R | d thing of that sort to them. I always did hate arithmetic; it is so stupid. entra allroa T agree with Oscar Wilde: Some one asked him if he liked mathe- fl . . matics. He said: “Mathematics! oh, mathematics is such an ass, you know.” Thank fortune, there is not much of it in housekeeping. As I without knowing It. said, housekeeping is simple enough if you just use system. For instance, there is nothing between meand a delicious dinner but the striking of a match. The fire is laid in the stove, the potatoes are washed, the macaroni is That 1S without know- in the dish ready to be dressed, and the flour for the biscuit is sifted. - ; When Lilybud comes poking back to-morrow morning, as polite as a basket of chips, I am going to tell her I don’t want her any more. All ing that Helen’s father Se ee ee th | k E when I could not make her put enough bread on the table to go round. I scolded all to no purpose. One day I grew desperate and set out to ex- was e argest stock- plore the kitchen. There, hidden in the wood box, was a bucket of dough. When I spoke to her about it she became furious, said: “I'd just like to holder—for Seymour } know how you speck me to keep boarders ef I don’t feed ’em. Thought f everybody knowed you got to feed boarders to sachify ’em.” There is the telephone ringing. I'll be back in a minute. (Returns) was a lowly $6,000-a-year =) | For the love of mercy! That was Lina at the phone. She and George d are on their way past and are going to stop over for a few hours and employee of that same roa | | take lunch with me. What on earth shall I do? No cook and nothing in the house to cook. Fortunately they will call on Cousin Mattie first, and naturally when he met that will give me a chance to think. What shall I do? simply distracting! Do come help me. ‘ _ Ican't find a match in the house. I remember now, I used the last Helenin Bermuda— P. ethaps, 5 | one this morning, intended to order some and forgot. Please run over and borrow some from Mrs. Smith while I prepare this macaroni. Dear though, you had better read me! there is no cheese. Did I put soda in this flour? I can’t remember; that is the trouble with preparing things beforehand. You forget what Holworthy Hall’s sprightly © | you did. Well, to make sure I'll put in some more, I want things to be particularly nice, for I have boasted to Lina of my housekeeping. i I can't find a decent tablecloth anywhere. Lilybud is always moving romance yi ourself. It Is called things. My! but that woman is a thorn in my flesh. Look at this, will “ %» ’ : you? The best cloth I have full of holes. Lilybud is so careless about Off Duty’ and you Il find it clearing off the table; spills things on the cloth, then throws it down any- . . f where till the laundryman comes. Of course, the mice eat holes in it. in the F ebruary 12th issue of ‘The house is alive with mice and that woman is too good-for-nothing to set a trap. I always keep plenty of traps, consider it true economy to provide necessities. I am awfully provoked about this cloth. It is much one f too fine to throw away, besides I have conscientious scruples about wasting things. I’ll put it away for the present and some day buy a hand- | ier’ S some centerpiece that will cover the holes. | Dear me! these biscuit are a hopeless failure—too much soda. Well, I THE NATIONAL WEEKLY must phone Jack to come early and bring some rolls and boiled ham. You 7 + | can make some coffee and mayonnaise for these tomatoes. These potatoes f A ATE Sh abla d can be boiled in the jackets. They are good that way, don’t you think so? I j will order some ice-cream and cake sent up right away. What a relief it is i to get all this off my mind—as I s I am always equal to an emergency. There is the door-bell—hurry and get through so youcan come in and mect Lina and George. They are just too wonderful for words! —M. A.G. comicbooks.com