Judge — January 22, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Substituted—"So you have taken to carrying around a monkey? This is going too you never go anywhere with me,” was his wife’s somewhat ambiguous retort. — Pittsburgh Post. He Had It—*“Hullo, Tom! What's this I hear about your having some labor- saving de “It’s true an heiress. right. I'm going to marry Boston Transcript. Which?—Nurse—The new patient in our ward is light-headed. Doctor—Delirious or blonde?—Detroit Free Press. The Orator—‘I tell you, my friends,” roared the patriot on the stump, “our navy may not be the bigge: nd finest thing of its kind afloat, but we have two of the finest oceans lapping our shores to sail one on that the history of the world has ever known.””— Topeka Journal A Slight Detail of his nerve?” was notorious! called mea “Oh, well him, “probably in h “What do you think med the old man, who tricky in business. ‘He ed robber?” the man who knew itement he didn’t » York Globe. Why Not?—“What’s the difference,” inquired the landlady, “between a turkey inner and a mess of stewed prunes?” don’t know,” said the solemn boarder “In that case,” she continued, “T might as well save money and serve prunes.” Louisville Courier-Journal. Sorghum’s Method—‘How did you all the folks out hom First rate,” replied Senator Sorghum. “Ttold them I was going to see if I couldn't straighten out a few problems for the government between now and spring. That cheered them up a great deal.” ‘© what problems di ou have refer- enc “Oh, nothing in particular. I never go into details with my constituents. If you get to explaining things, you are liable to make them sound so easy that the voters get to thinking they don’t need you.” Cleveland Plain Dealer Allowed—*Guard, is any osculation allowed in this park?” “Oh, y ‘cept spoonin’ and kissin’.""—Bultimore Sun, Talk With Shaves—Bill—Can you shave yourself as well as a barber can shave you? Jill—I think so, but the trouble is T hate to talk to myself.—Vonkers Statesman. A Distinction—Anick—Did that firm fail to pay its debts? Kuno it failed so it wouldn't have hicago Herald. sit. Most anything allowed, ~~ Auto-Intoxication Good House- Bure AUTO-INTOXICATION is caused by con- ieatlon and stipation. The bowels fail to function prop- . erly. The lower intestine becomes filled with disease-breeding waste matter. Many physicians, who have long recognized the dangers attending the use of strong purges and of Fabictorniitne laxatives and cathartics, have adopted the mineral oil treatment, as a saner, more natural way of combating the evils of constipation and auto-intoxication. Nujol conforms in every respect to the require- ments of the mineral oil treatment. Its purity is vouched for by the world’s largest refiners. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75c—money order or stamps. Write for booklet ‘ The Rational Treat- ment of Constipation.” Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Nujol REG US PAT. Hotels Indian River and Rockledge, Rockledge, Florida located 180 miles below Jacksonville on the Indian River in the midst of the famous Indian River orange groves. A great deal of money has been spent on the property, making the hotels equal to the best hotels in the State. Fine hunting. wild turkey, duck. quail, jacksnipe and deer; also as good fishing as there is to be had in Florida. One of our great attractions is the Golf Course, one of the best in the South. Boating. motor-boating, clock golf, tennis, billlards, pool and dancing. Opens January Sth. Accommodates 400. Write for Circular. Address W. W. Brown, Hotel Manhattan, 42nd St., New York City, until December 25th; then Rockledge, Florida. Also Manager Granliden Hotel, Lake Sunapee, N. HL, and Hotel Aspinwall, Lenox, Mass. Seasons 1914 and 1915. comicbooks.com