Judge — January 15, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Easy Money T° PICK up a thousand or so “on the side” by a shrewd move, without turning the hand, is the aspiration alike of high, and low, and medium finance. Some do it by picking the right war bride; some by a flyer in real estate; some by backing the right horse, and some by picking the right card. Some make a fortune by tak- ing advice; but taking advice, like the estate of matrimony, is not to be entered upon lightly or without thought. Cases there have been—not a few—where advice, like the pin in the schoolboy’s essay, has “saved thousands of lives by not swal- lowing it.” A man who lived in a New York State town put $73 in the Savings Bank—and forgot all about it. His wife—fortunately, he was married—in looking over his books and accounts the other day, as good wives do, ran across the deposit. She went to the Savings Bank and drew—not $73, but $1,620. Now Ameri- cans are not asa rule such devo- tees of the Savings Bank as their fathers were. They do not take kindly to the slow, steady self- denial which results in accretions to the bank account, and “la: something by for a But here, indeed, ings Bank habit made easy. is simplicity itself. First, you get marricd—that, of course. N. you put $73 in the Savings Bank. Next, you forget all about it. Next, your wife re- members it. Next, she goes to the Savings Bank and draws—on the investment or deposit of $73—the sum total of $1,620. One other thing is perhaps important. <=>) Sy. You should make the Savings Bank deposit 73 in the year of 1854—at least, that is what this man did. Most Americans, however, prefer the turnov A man we know was out walking with his wife, the other day, when she noticed his abstracted air and asked him Cupid—Pshaw! Merely a scrap of paper! what was wrong. “Everything is wrong,” he told her. “I’m on the wrong side of the market, hopelessly extended, and all in, and nothing will save me but a quick turnover.” Whereupon she stepped on a leaf— slipped on the wet sidewalk—and made 5 g, is! aa > AG JK A pain SRO te) the quick turnover. Her ankle, to be precise. Some wives will do anything to help their husbands. A Job for Somebody Qosenony ought to put the “awakened public conscience” back to bed. If it stays awake much longer it is sure to make a notorious of its For the past two decades it has been busy agitating the horde of brains that bark along on one cylinder, and wheedling itself into a belief that social crime can be cured by unwise legislation. It can not be denied that many of the laws fathered by the disturbed conscience have looked to be ethically and mor- ally expedient. But in practice they have functioned in a pain- fully idiotic manner. Over one-half of ,the street arrests in Chicago in 1914 w for crimes that did not twenty years ago. For every new crime altruistically deline- ated in the statutes by some self- appointed friend to man, thou- sands of new criminals have been created. If the present rage of neurotic legislation is maintained for another decade, the respectable people of our land will decimate themselves and make jailbirds of us all. Brief Decisions When Eugenics gets going good, borrowing clothes that fit us will be a snap. s According to the law of averages, all homely women ought to be interesting. 2 Any man who says advice is cheap has never consulted a lawyer or a doctor. comicbooks.com