Judge — January 15, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles Knew Where He Was At—When the late Robert Aull was park commissioner, there was a negro boy called Possum, who helped around the boathouse in Forest Park Lake. Possum was a mighty hunter and fishert , and those qualities appealed to Col. Aull. Sometimes Col. Aull and Possum took lanterns at night and caught a mess of frogs in Forest Park. Possum had a falsetto voice and a vast ignorance of how to use the telephone. He had located several fat, fine frogs that he thought Col. Aull might like to gig, and he called him up at the City Hall. The commissioner’s stenographer answered the telephone, and, after hearing Possum’s shrill tenor demanding an interview with “Mistah Aull,” she said: “There’s a lady on the ‘phone who wants to speak to you personally.” Col. Aull vent te the telephone, and sai what is it, madame? Phith ith Pothum! I want to talk to Mithta Aull.” his is Mr. Aull. Who are you?” hith ith Pothum. Don’t you know Pothum? Pothum, the nigger out at Foretht Park. I want you to come and meet me, and we'll get thome frawgth.” “Oh, all right, Possum. Where are you?” “Thuth?” “Where are you?” “[ don’t know what you thaid. Thith ith Pothum. I want you to come right out and meet me.” “All right, I'll come, but where “TL don’t know what you thaid. ‘Then the park commissioner, raising his voice, resorted to the language of the plain'people: “Where are you at?” Oh,” responded Possum, with a sigh of relief. “Heah I ith.’—St. Louis Globe Democrat. UW! re you?” Wager Spoiled—‘“Halloa! Bafy’s, the butcher?” “Ves.” “Well, this is Mrs. | Will you please send | steak by tw o'cloc Are you Brown's residence. ¢ a large, thick “Well, you just bet your sweet life I will.” “Do ‘ou know, sir, to whom you are “Sure [ do. You're Jenny, Mrs. Brown's cook.” “You are mistaken, young man. are speaking to Mrs. Brown herself.” “Is that so? Then in that case, madam, we'll call the bet off.” —Tit- You Paying His Way—In a rural court the old squire had made a ruling so unfair that three young lawyers at once protested against such a miscarriage of justice. The squire immediately fined each of the law- yers $5 for contempt of court. There was silence, and then an older lawyer walked slowly to the front of the room and deposited a $ro bill with the clerk. He then addressed the judge as fol- lows: “Your Honor, I wish to state that I have twice as much contempt for this court as any man in the room.” —Youth’s Companion. Lo | 4 The latest American church is what a “some col- A Coaxer device for “raising the wind” religious paper describes as | The Best HIGH BALL tthe exquisite pew watch cases. 19 Jewel seem bern eae All sizes for both peer it Bartington, Watch sent on a oteas Sven the eh eodeoens Wad C Makes Men Fight? 'N one short ugly sentence she had stripped him of his manhood. In a moment of jest, she had cut deep into his heart. As he lay gazing at the blinking stars and the shells that shrieked and burst, there again rang in his ear that mock- ing laugh which had sent him flying to the front. She had the prettiest hair, the brightest eyes, the most tantalizing smile in all San Augustine. He would SHOW the world that a lion’s heart beat in his little body. The war closed and he went home—a Colonel and a hero. San" Augustine was frenzied over its native son. Straight up the path to her home, he walked ~and then—the thing that happened wasn’t at all what you think. This is one of the 274 stories by that master, O. HENRY which you get in twelve handsome volumes for only a few cents a week. Send the coupon at once—without money—to get these 274 stories throbbing with life—life in the heat of battle and of love in a dingy New York garret—of the innocent shrinking with shame, of the guilty who joyously sin, of healthy and jolly (un, of laughter clear and sane— of the weaknesses pardoned by love—and the unforgivable crime, Send for them all on approval. Send for them at once s0 you will get the 179 Kipling stories free 110,000 Own This Edition Already of distinction. From the few who anapped up the fit editlon ‘and You Will Understand Why at 12g 9 ect before t wanofl the preest0 the Othe Natieas Are Going Wild Over Him 110,000 who h. ol why universities are planning tablets to his mem ory: why text books of English Literature ore including bie stories: while colleges are diecuslng his place in literature; why theatrical firms are voing for Fights to dramatize his stories, jove and pride our greatest writer of stories. ‘erybudy has to have O. Henry—everybody who Kipling Given besides, to get your prompt action we give you, free, Kipling, in six volumes— S atsries “the greatest he ever wrote—the red. red stories of fight and the. F ha ty en ble stones of peace, smoving pictures—for theae ure permanent, real, moving Dict urea oie 7. he wi « jomorrow apd be sor Send a Donte: ‘ait it ry. PF Acaress.. Coupon today and be glad. i W, Review of Reviews Co.,2° ving Pisce, A. oucepation 451 Sen 2 Long Novels moe comicbooks.com