Judge — January 15, 1916 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

16-DAY CRUISE All Expenses 942° tp AKE your | plans now to en- joy this delightful winter trip on sunny “ah seas. Four and one- . half days aboard steamer. Then that fascinating sail around tropical PORTO RICO “The Island of Enchantment” stopping at all the principal ports. You visit the old ruined fortresses of the Spanish conquerors; you explore the winding streets so charming in their quaint old-world life and customs. If you like, you can take the automobile trip on the famous military road, traversing a country surprising in the richness and grandeur of its scenery. The steamer is your hotel during the entire voyage to and around the island and returning to New York. Large American-built steamers, sailing under the American flag, especially designed and handsomely appointed for service in tropical waters. A sailing every Saturday at noon, Send for new booklet, ‘‘Porto Rico Cruise.’’ Address CRUISING DEPARTMENT PORTO RICO LINE, 11 Broadway, New York Trips also to Cuba, Mexico, Bahamas, THE AMERICAN Florida, Texas and other resorts of AGWI MEDITERRANEAN DISTRICT PASSENGER OFFICES BOSTON PHILADELPHIA WASHINGTON NEW YORK 192 Washington Street 701 Chestnut Street 1306 F Street,N.W. 290 Broadway Hotels Indian River and Rockledge, Rockledge, Florida located 150 miles below Jacksonville on the Indian River In the midst of the famous Indian River orange groves. A great deal of money has been spent on the property, making the hotels equal to the best hotels in the State. Fine hunting, wild turkey, duck. quail, Jacksnipe and deer; also as good fishing as there Is to be had in Florida. One of our great attractions is the Golf Course, one of the best in the South. Boating, motor-boating, clock golf, tennis, billiards, pool and dancing. Opens January Sth. Accommodates 400. Write for Circular. Address W. W. Brown, Hotel Manhattan, 42nd St., New York City, until December 25th, then Rockledge, Florida. Also Manager Granliden Hotel, Lake Sunapee. N. H., and Hotel Aspinwall, Lenox, Mass. Seasons 1914 and 1915. Me Ld “rome aeons le Ulllddlllldld And_ believe me, it seemed to work. Evening after evening us two sat in the lamplight—me with my hair done up like a wife, with an apron on and mending things with a domestic look on my brow and homemade conversation on my tongue. In between his ts I had to tly lively and get some excitement, for a nap-in- the-chimney-corner was never my. style. But he ate my cooking with such a close-to- heaven air, and he give me such compli- ments on my sense—talk so new to me I could most smell the varnish on it—that | felt 1 could grit my teeth and stick to my guns to the bitter end. Even when there come heavenly moonlight nights and we took to the porch and my real nature would prompt me to abandon myself to giggles and gush, I would crush ‘em down and_ register stern common sense. If he would say, “ Moonlight and love go together,” I would answer domestically, vy like bread and cheese,” and if he would go on with, “Tis a night for pociry, not pie. What is your opinion of Alfred ‘Temmson’s Moonlight on the Moor?” I would reply, “What is yours? As for me, I am minus an opinion when you're around, for you've sure got enough mind for two.” I ask you. Peg, wasn’t this trying it out in great style, and shouldn't I have made some hit? Well, he come round regular for some months and then he kinder dropped off. “Twas in vain, as the pocts says, for me to sit sewing in the lamplight. My audience had fled. 1 was some glum till all at once 1 see by the newspaper that his uncle had died unexpected and left him a fortune, and I got a note saying he wished to see me to make a most personal request. Omit the thrills and get to the evening he called. “T came,” says he, “to as' reat favor. I want you to take a position—as house- keeper—and in my home.” It has came,” I gasped to my soul and clutched the furniture hard. But he went on inexorable. “Tam engaged to be married,” he says, “to a regular flower of a girl—jest made to be looked at—so poctic—so full of noble ideas and opinions different from mine so charming with her delicious nothings 1 could never associate her with sordid toil And now Lam rich. I can afford to keep her as she ought to be kept, and so I ask you, my good friend,so sensible—so domestic— to do us the great favor of coming to us as our housekeeper. Good ones are hard to find. There will be special inducements “Not the kind that will suit me,” 1 says as soon as I could gasp. “‘Good-day—and may you be as happy as a flower holder.” Where does the lumping things come in? Why, saying domestics attracts all men. Some maybe there be that fall for apple dumplings and made over serges, but the law ought to compel those writer fellers to say which kind wants what, and spare us wimmen busted hearts and blasted hopes. —Oreola W. Haske comicbooks.com