Judge, 1916-01-08 · page 6 of 28
Judge — January 8, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three distinct items: **"McFee Migrates"** (main story): A humorous narrative where McFee recounts moving back to Brooklyn despite having left years earlier, forced by his domineering wife. The joke centers on domestic comedy—noisy children, complaining neighbors, and marital dynamics. A secondary cartoon shows two dock workers discussing a fired employee, playing on working-class humor about job security. **"Qualified"** (small cartoon): A munitions manufacturer interviews a woman applicant. The satire mocks her stated qualification—designing "hobble skirts" (restrictive women's fashion from the 1910s-20s era)—as absurdly unrelated to armaments manufacturing. This likely references WWI-era industrial mobilization and gender in the workforce. **"The Sailor"** (poem): Light verse celebrating a sailor's romantic conquests across various ports and ethnicities, reflecting casual early-20th-century attitudes toward international flirtation. The overall page emphasizes domestic and workplace humor typical of American satirical magazines of this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
McFee Migrates 6©VEP, RIGHT in the shank of winter I packed up my furniture, piled it in mounds of disorder, hired a crockery smash- ing crew, and moved— back to Brooklyn,” re= marked McFee as I slushed into his office to thaw. “You know,’’ he went on, “I lived in the city of chiming church bells once before, and evacuated the burg because I found it too dead. Now, by returning, | have discovered it is possible for a man to die twice in the same lifetime. I know I said I’d never go back, but— Li You've got a wife yourself, and she’s got a sister. Splendid girl, too, I remember. But—again. This female in- law of mine moved to the dormitory bo: ough, and so my wife said we'd got to gi ove And when Arabella McFee says a thing has got to be done, it gets dor ven if she most always does it herself and then throws the blame of a bad job on me. “We rented a cosy apartment, with the landlord made thoroughly aware of the size of my family. You remember the old gag T gave you?” McFee haw-hawed a little as he recalled it, human nature being prone to relish its own humor. “It was the time 1 took the kids out for a walk and was Parra Soppme you've heerd aboot ‘em la: y years” sairvice ? ei mon ; yon's takit the job “twould no" be steady worrk. 1g MacGreegor off is ain fault. [ told him when he QUALIFIED Munitions manufacturer—So you think you could make shells, eh ? Applicant —Well. sir, | used to design hobble skirts. stopped by a policeman who wanted to know what the crowd was following me for “Well, Ltold the landlord of my family I told him the joke. tov, by Woodrow! (Vd say ‘By George’ only I’m neutral.) And he was satis! Buta couple of weeks after we moved in, our downstairs neighbor had the janitor ad- nonish us that we were mak- too much noise. I'd just told one of the youngsters a heavy joke, and she must have heard him when he tumbled. Umph! Some peo ple would complain if I fell asleep. I’m a heavy sleeper, youknow. And sound? Wife says she can hear me snore the length of the flat! “Did J stand for the kick? 1 did not! Mrs. MeFee went downstairs and aired her mentality. She had a car: go of expletives on her train of thought and she shunted every one ker-smash against the bumper of that down- stairs woman’s physiognomy. She said we were paying rent, that children were children, that this and that that, and gave it as her unsought and uncharged opinion that all these undeniable things being so, we were going to live while we lived and die afterward. And she intended to be buried when she was dead. she exploded. but not before unless the subway caved in while she was going to New York. “You'd have thought that we wouldn't you? You'd have thought or the other would have to move. wouldn't you? Instead, it put them on a friendly footing. Queer, isn’t it! The kids, up and down, play together; Mrs. McFee borrows Mrs. Downstairs’s magazines Mrs. Downstairs borrows our carpet sweeper and cooking recipes. They have more sweet words for each other than a candy store has chocolates, and things are as merry as a boy with a movie privilege. “Yep,” MecFee, puffing out his chest. © put some life into our section of the Bedroom Borough, all right.” Irtemus Ward Utting Lend it, or The Sailor HE be met overs type of a ie From Masks to far Hindosta He's danced the Bolero in Rio Jan And flirted with girls in Japan Creole may allure, ha be winsome and sweet Or a Genoese beauty bethink it a To kiss him; the rapture is fleet. For back from his travels J He comes with a heart pit-a-pat And soon ‘twill be laid with some shy little n Who lives in Manhattan at that Joseph P. Hanrahan. Truly Some people are like shadows; they are with you only when everything is fair comicbooks.com