Judge, 1915-12-18 · page 8 of 28
Judge — December 18, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous short story about dogs, not political satire. The narrative follows Fido, a small dog who claims a bone from a butcher shop. A larger rival dog, Towser, challenges him for it—the "eternal triangle" being the classic love-triangle plot applied absurdly to canine rivalry over a bone. When Towser attacks Fido's master (Smith), Fido heroically bites Towser to save him. The irony: after his brave act, Fido forgets about the bone entirely and buries Smith's imported passion-vine plant instead—suggesting even heroes have short attention spans. The accompanying cartoon at top shows a professor cursing, and a bottom panel features a joke about a wife's thriftiness. These appear to be separate, unrelated humor pieces typical of *Judge* magazine's mixed-content format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ete wer The professor (determinedly) —-D——n !——and | don’t care who hears me! THE ETERNAL TRIANGLE By CHARLES PF. LUMMIS iw was certainly Fido’s betrothed Bone. He had wooed it from behind the counter while Master purchased a sirloin. A He knew just where he would bury it. But he was modest about it, and pattered homeward some yards behind Mas- ter. It was just bone, without the “rag and the hank of hair”’—but similarly a matter of Discussion between rivals. That Lankersheimer dog swept across the lawn, bristling. There was an Interchange of Notes—then a Dis- tinctly Unfriendly Act. Towser was twice Fido’s size, and the theme went to the ground as they Argued. Master wheeled at the uproar, and kicked in. Whereupon Towser forgot domesticity and bones and made a wolfish pounce at the small man’s throat. He caught it—and Smith went over, the big hound gripping into his neck. He couldn’t breathe, and the tearing of those white fangs—— But Fidocaught Towser where the latter could least afford it, and bit with all his heart. The big dog whirled, howling; but Fido held. He was wagged, tail-fashion, all around the compass, but Towser could not get tooth to him. Towser tore for home, his abhorrent appendage persisting. Only when he swung Fido around a thorn- bush was he disengaged. His cries to High Heaven had brought the neighbors to their large juicy Bone. Blame it on the engineer doors. They ran to Smith. Fido was licking his face, and was loth to permit other First Aid. But when they revived Master and supported him home, Fido trotted ahead, a conscious hero. He had forgotten all about the Lady in the Case. But so had Towser. And later Fido found her there, undisturbed; and buried her solemnly under Smith's imported Passion - vine — incidentally uprooting that cherished plantiet. baked li fave - Belle—Is Jack's wife economical? Jennie—She's a marvel of thrift, ‘on anything Jack wants.