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Judge, 1915-12-18 · page 6 of 28

Judge — December 18, 1915 — page 6: what you’re looking at

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Judge — December 18, 1915 — page 6: Judge, 1915-12-18

What you’re looking at

This is a romantic comedy story, not political satire. The narrative follows a man named Norris attempting to court Miss Sallie Martin in a toy department, repeatedly thwarted by her eight-year-old nephew, John, who becomes an unwitting "enemy" to romance. The humor derives from John's innocent interference: he invites himself on Norris's car ride, interrupts romantic moments, and monopolizes Miss Sallie's attention with childish demands (cowboy suits, air rifles, toy guns). The cartoon caption "Santa Claus as He Looks to a Pessimist" depicts a disappointed, cynical Santa—reflecting Norris's gloomy romantic prospects. The bottom illustration, "The Enemy Mobilizes for the Christmas Attack," humorously portrays the child as a military threat to Norris's courtship. The story satirizes not politics but the universal romantic predicament: how children derail adult social plans. The "Howard Chandelier Christy" reference suggests contemporaneous popular illustration culture.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T HIRD SWAIN THE MINOR, BY CORINNE ROCKWELL HE SAW HER the moment he entered the toy department, and his heart gave a little jump: ever since she had come to town to visit her brother he had tried vainly to get a word alone with her. Luckily, her only com- panion now was her eight-year-old nephew, John. Norris hastened a to Miss Martin’s side and was soon shaking hands in happy em- barrassment, jumbling the assurance that he was glad to see her with the information that he had come to buy a tea-set for his sister’s kid. He tried to imagine that she looked a wee bit pleased, though, as always, her cool, sweet serenity baffled him. As he tried to think of something bright to say, little John suddenly wearied of mechanical trains. “Come on, Aunt Sallie!” he commanded, darting up the aisle; “let’s look at the Indian suits!’ Norris, following, had an inspiration. “T want you to try my new car,” he informed Miss Sallie softly, not to disturb John’s rapt absorption in the call of the wild. “Won't you, some day this week?” She hesitated, frowning a little; was she displeased, or merely recalling her engagements? But alas, little John had overheard, and was troubled with no harassing doubts. “Sure, we'll go!” he shouted happily. “Can I ride in front, with the chauffeur? Shall we go right now, Mr. Norris?” “Er—hardly. We'll let Miss Martin set the time.” sembled a grim resolve to limit the party to two. Norris’s smile dis- “To-morrow, then,” suggested John hopefully, returning to more tangible - glories. ‘Gee, Aunt Sallie, I'd like that cowboy suit!” “You might whisper to Santa Claus—over there in the snow cave,” hinted Norris artfully; but John repudiated the insinuation. “Aw, cut it out!” he sniffed scornfully, with the dignity of his years. “I’m going to see the air rifles!” He stalked away in advance, turning to hold them up in approved highwayman form as they followed. “Don’t you love to enjoy the Christmas toys with the kiddies?” Miss Sallie exclaimed; adding with gentle reproach, “Why, John dear, that was Mr. Norris’s hat! Put the gun right away, and apologize!” John obeyed per- functorily, but immediately turned his attention to bows and arrows with such enthusiasm that his aunt hurcied on to safer regions, expressing girlish delight in the poinsettia decorations. Norris made a mental note for a florist’s anal Crome SANTA CLAUS AS HE LOOKS TO A PESSIMIST order, and little John, rejoining the party, hailed the word with pleased recognition, announcing that his friend Jim Pratt had a pointsetter dog, and he was a red dog, too. Aunt Sallie received the contribution to natural history with a tender consideration which made her im- personal kindness to Norris all the more unbearable. Again he tried to help Destiny. 7] THE ENEMY MOBILIZES FOR THE CHRISTMAS ATTACK “Does John like to read? I think there’s a picture book counter, through that doorway, John. You choose a book, and I'll get it for you. Take your time.” John obligingly skipped away, and Norris took a desperate short cut. “Miss Sallie,” he demanded, “is it true that you go back South next week? Before you go, I must tell you——” “Yes,” she interrupted, with polite regret in her soft voice, ignoring his final words. “I’m sorry to miss the New Year dance, but Mother—why John, dear! Have you found a book so soon?” “Twasn’t books—just a sale of cal- endars by Howard Chandelier Christy,” John reported, with painstaking accu- racy. “Oh, Aunt Sallie, I must try the swings and slides! Please!”’ He van- ished in a forest of lawn swings, and Norris drew a breath of relief. The moment was his, and he must improve it, though he recalled no guide to de- partment store proposals. Impulsively he seized the warm little ungloved hand. “T know what I'd like to buy you for a Christmas gift!’ he confided toa cer- tain pink finger. She pulled her hand