Judge — December 18, 1915 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hotel Imperial Nearer to Everything than Anything Broadway, 31st and 32d Streets NEW YORK CITY 600 rooms, single or en suite $1.50 per day up, with bath $2.00 up A new innovation in Broadway’s leading Hotel. Our new popular priced restaurant is now the Mecca of the Travelling Public for luncheons and dinners. Cuisine and service unexcelled. Excellent facilities for weddings, banquets, dances, etc. Tea Dansants daily, except Sunday, in the Palm Room, 4 to 7 P.M. Sunday Evening Concerts in the Red Salon at 8.30 P. M. Make your reservations for Christmas and New Year’s Dinners Now Send for circular and map of New York City WILLARD D. ROCKEFELLER Manager The Ideal Tour to Mexico, Panama or the NEW ORLEANS “'The Paris of America’’ Offering delightful variation from the Winter abroad, with ail the attractions of @ Continental citys The St. Charles Finest all-year hotel in the South. Perfectly appointed and |f ‘accommodating tooo guests. ALFRED S. AMER & CO., Ltd., Props. Send for Polder Save Your Dimes Boys! Get the Good Luck Bank Holds just one dollar. Thegenth dime opens it. ‘Snay jut and it remains ‘ked until refilled. Nickel plated, may be worn as a watch charm. Price, 10¢ by mail postpaid EXCELSIOR NOVELTY COMPANY Dept. 8, Anderson Realty Building, MT. VERNON, N.Y. THROW YOUR VOICE! Into the next room, down cellar, under the bed or anywhere. Pool your friends, lots of fun. The VENTRILOPHONE is a little instrument that fits into the mouth and cannot be seen. Boys or girls can. use it We also send you COMPLETE INSTRUC TIONS in the ART OF VENTRILOQUIS ‘of 300 Novelties all for 10 Cents. wits our bi DEE CO., Desk E, Stamford. Conn. Stamps or Coin. JANUARY FILM FUN At all Newsstands Now. 10c a Copy. $1.00 a Year Published by LESLIE-JUDGE CO. 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent. Protect your ideas, they may bring you wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” and “How to Get Your Patent and Your Moory.” Randolph & Co., Patent Attor- aeys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C, Passing Little Benny’s Notebook—Sam Krawss Sam Krawss is a friend of mine, Awn his fase he wares gold glasses, I sce him cetch time he comes erround And every time he passes. The glasses make him look more intelligent, Altho he wares them jest to sce throo, Only he cant see eny ferther out his 4 eyes Than [can out of my 2. When he ferst got them he was so stuck up He woodent hardly speek, And awl us fellows was jellus of him Bekause his eyes was weak. He squeeks wen hes tawking sumtimes, Awn account of his voice jest breaking, And he jenerelly comes erround with gingerbred Wich his mothir is awlways making. Wun time his farthir cawt him A smoaking a cigarett, And the licking he got awn the pavemint Sam proberly will never forget. Anuthir time his farthir cawt him Making fases with red chawk awn the fents, And the licking he got awn the grass plot Sam will proberly remembir so years hents. He rides erround awn a bisickel Wich was gave to-him wun berthday, And his mothir also makes root beer Which he drinks wenevvir hes thirsty. —Lee Pape, in Chicago Daily News. A Feeling Answer—“ What can be more sad than a man without a country?” feel- ingly asked the high school teacher of her class. “A country without a man,” responded a pretty girl just as feclingly.—TopekaJ ournal. An “Opening Chorus” Sing a song of front seats, fiddles start to whine: Four-and-twenty chorus girls standing in a line. When the show is opened they all begin to sing, And not a person in the house can understand a thing. —Kansas City Journal. Jealousy—“ What makes Carol so dis- liked?” “She got the most votes for being popu- lar.”—Chicago News. Woman's Place, Etc.—“ Yes, sir, one hour’s uninterrupted reading cach evening would make you——” “Uninterrupted? Where do you think my wife spends her evenings?”—New York Times. The Finest—“‘Have you much of a police force in this village?” asked the city man in the country. “We certainly have,” replied the native; “he weighs 310 pounds.”—Yonkers States- man. Not Always—Hazel—It’s always to a man’s credit when he stops drinking. Omar—Don't you believe it. Sometimes it is to his lack of credit.—Jndiana polis Star. Lovely Hands—‘What lovely hands Mrs. Flummery has.”” . . “Yes; she’s one of our most industrious public knitters.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. the Mustard Efficiency Stuff—“Do yo the clock?” et “Not since I hired that rapher."—Dallas News. Pt emg. Of Course Not!—“Jinks is a bom poet That's no reason why he shouldn’ to make something of himself eye? Manuscript. _ Obvious—“Is dat dah Sassafras §; son took a wife yit, Rastus?” i Reckon he hain’t, Bre'er Higgins. He’ workin’.”—Browning’s Magazine as Consoling cess last year? “Very much so. My neighbor's chi took first prize at the poultry om Philadelphia Record. i Was your garden a sx. Safety First—‘They say people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages.” “Yes; that’s why I’m looking for a git with money.”—Brooklyn Eagle. She—And don’t you go in for Sport of any kind? He—Oh, yaas, don’t yer know. I'm haw—passionately fond of dominoes— Detroit Free Press. True!—“Pa, what is an anomaly?” “T can’t explain the term very well, sa, but a deckhand on a submarine would te anomalous.” —Birmingham Age-Hereld. Naturally—Brown—Stout people, they say, are rarely guilty of meanness or crim. Jones—Well, you sce, it’s so difficult for them to stoop to anything low.—Sirey Stories. He Knew Jims—She—Your friend Jims was here this morning asking for you and told me such a touching story. He (absent-mindedly)—For how much— Baltimore American. Reformed—Jones—I don’t see yor husband at the club of late, Mrs. Brown. Mrs. Brown—No, he stays at homenor and enjoys life in his own way as I wat him to.—Houston Chronicle. It Depended—Sportsman—Is it work my time to shoot in this neighborhood? ‘Native—Well, the shootin’ ain't wih shucks, but then, I don’t know what yor time is wuth.—Boston Transcript. Spoken of Favorably—Stranger—tar. you a good hair tonic you can recom Druggist (prohibition town)—Here is ome thing that is spoken of very favorably the people who have drunk it.—Topdé Journal, As Usual—“ Who wrote ae Ge on how to support a family of six 02 dollars a wveek? a friend asked Woes the editor of the Ladies’ Household Friad “Bingham, one of our best men, # Woggles, without a smile; “we pay ® five thousand a year.” —Louisville Come Journal.