Judge — November 20, 1915 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lazytown Local News N° having anything clse to do, Jefferson Potlocks climbed to his housctop yesterday to watch the clouds pass. ¢ The Mail Carrier comes in with the startling news that a volcano swept through the Calf Ribs neighborhood one day this week and biew down several barns and fences. cd The Tin Peddler, who takes a hand in everythi both for the sake of business and pleasure, this w joined a funeral procession this side of Bounding Billows, but dropped out at a wide place in the road, so that his horse could take its time. 2 The Depity Constable has been shadowing a stranger on Musket Ridge for the past several days, and after hav- ing found out for certain that the man had done nothing, the Depity, ever on his job, then arrested him for that ¢ Cricket Hicks reports having scen a lizard one day this week, Lizards have been gone for se’ I weeks, but Cricket is always about that far behind the excitement. + 2 Atlas Peck went to Rye Straw Monday to talk over some business with a deaf man, but the country is getting so thickly settled he couldn't say what he wanted to. 2 The Dog Hill preacher has had a hair cut. Poke Eazley says it seems like the preachers of this day and time try to look as nice as anybody. Poke Eazley has noticed that the kitchen floor at his home is sagging on one side considerably. At first he thought about having it upholstered, but has decided to let it stay like it is, so that he won't have to prop his plate up on one side with a biscuit to keep his molasses together when he cats. 2 Among those who visited the postoffice this week and did not get the mail they were looking for are as follows: Raz Barlow, Atlas Peck, Poke Eazley, Sim Flinders, Luke Mathewsla, Sap Spradlen, Fit Smith, Fletcher Henstep, Tobe Moseley, Bat Smith, Dock Hocks, Sidney Hocks, Ellick Hellwanger, the Depity Constable, the Dog Hill Preacher, Firsby Hancock, the Horse Doctor, Yam Sims, Jefferson Potlocks. Columbus Allsop, Washington Hocks, the Blind Man, Cricket Hicks, the Old Miser, Slim Pickens, the 1 sior Fiddling Band, Miss Flutie Belcher, Miss Fruzie Allsop, Miss He—So you think opposites attract eac’ other? She —Yes. A stingy man usually has a generous income. ) t THE MORNING AFTER Rattling the family skeleton Frizzic Dillard, Miss Gondola Henstep, Miss Cordelia Hellwanger, Miss Rosy Moseley, and the Hog Ford Preacher. . e Jefferson Potlocks, who moved into a house on Musket Ridge a few days ago, moved out after finding the rooms papered with war news. —George Bingham. His Reward 6¢7F I should furnish my fellow townsmen with advice on how to improve their conduct, the appearance of their front yards, the condition of their health and businesses, the manners of their children, their political affiliations, and so forth, as I am capable of doing,” confessed J. Fuller Gloom, “my sole reward would be the approval of my own conscience and the discovery that I had worn my mouth out without accomplishing anything else. Where Kindness Killed “Henry,” she murmured, fondly gaz- ing at her slender lord and master, “you are quite the style, your nar- row, sloping shoulders are the correct thing.” Then she der. Henry come in.” added dreamily, “I won- dear, if bow-legs will ever The Boarder HIANKSGIVING he is full of woe, As all can understand; He has no hope, he must know, His turkey will be canned. -J. J. O'Connell.