Judge — November 13, 1915 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sot, “What's that! yo plate?” TL said | found Getting By a Mule ITE. possession of a new hat and a pair of spring pants inspired me with the notion to get out from home and stir around some; so L got on a bieyele, which was then not obsolete in the catalog of pleasure vehicles, and, bound for nowhere in’ par ticular, E struck out over reads that had many crooks and turns and ups and downs. I have battle, either singular or plural; but a person does not necessarily have to join the army, or fall out of an airship, or get rescued from a boat, or bit by a mad dog, to He may run afoul of it on st day of the deadest August, a ms to be napping. never been ina torpedoed get excit the calny day when all the world far back in the shade. With my bicycle freshly oiled, great progress, and had just started on a waa hill that: was long breezy gi at least’ a quarter of a mile long, with aslope that was smooth and) gradual When half-way down that joyful slant 1 looked ahead, and at the base of it 1 observed a lazy-looking old mule stagger up a pig-path le: aditeh. 1 was traveling at the rate of about fifty miles an hour, with my legs over the handle-b Hash that ii the mule did not move out of the road, orat least be thoughtful enough to turn cndwise and allow me a portion of the right-of-way, there was bound to be one of the collisions in’ the annals of railroading. The mule stag gered out, stopped full in the middle of the road, turned its drowsy head toward me, stiffened its limp cars in only a casual interest, and then, with its nose to the ground, it limbered its leg-joints and lay down for a wallow in the reddish dust The road at this point was narrow, with a deep gully on cither side, and when the mule stretched out, its bulk formed an impregnable blockade! In my rush toward destruction [knew that | as helpless as the monkey that is tied toa wild pony and sent around the cireus ring! I knew that L should think, and ling fron sand TE realized ina most terrific was ad pin in the collection dime and pin.” think quickly, but my min like my body, was benumbx So LT did nothing but close my eyes and hold my breath, and pull back on the handlebars, hoping thus to hit the mule as gently as possible When Lopened my eyes Lwas untangling myself from a black berry thicket at the crook in the road beyond the bottom of the hill, some dist » below the mule. Temade me 1 to dis- cover that Twas still alive. As soon as LT could get the gravel and dust out of my eyes and mouth [looked and beheld the mule, still in bulky repose up there in the read. At this pnt L heard some one ale, and oon the rail fenee across the diteh sat a be “How did Te ever get by that mule?" 1 asked, with much wonder, The boy laughed, then replied: “You shore couldn't do tha - You sce, at the hind end of the mule there was a space about three inches wide between him and the ditch, and his tail laid across that space. You missed the main part of the mule and run over his tail! George Bingham. mon Th Small Berths. ‘There is no danger that Ss there? mam to pry Fat: Passenger anyone will pry into these berths, Pullman Porter Van On de contrary, we generally hs folks out of dem. stkes 1 Diner (to stranger, who is making off with his overcoat) Ballades of a Gay Week - ender Popular Hostesses: Agnes Pease Happy Hitt,” Var from the fun Ml fret of things; OF qui Ualeink my fill Atal all the peace that Nature | Atr 1 thee Helow the house Hike to go “The Mill,” Mes, Bing’ hostess! will, Amuse the oh their swings, Or thirt wit Bat at the h You're free from Nhe always lets you do as you please Feat sorrowinges Tyco there with a happy theill; He been there Summers, Balls And L intend to go until bright w ye whistles, th with poe tin Ml care away. Dear Agnes Pease Tlove beyond She always lets Prince Are on We love you. “Take We always let you dhe ul Norman, On the Move “Toounderstand that) the widow Fitz arricd a traveling man,” remarked Wil- mson, “What about it?” “He is still traveling,” replied Henderson. “Excuse me. but would you mind if | took a cigar from my pocket before you go?”