Judge — October 30, 1915 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

in some tall grass in the edge of the water, putty-nigh skeered to death! Now, I may be triflin’ and not wuth the salt and sody that goes in my bread, but there ain't nothin’ of mine that's goin’ to be imposed on —I'll tell you that right now! An Excellent Example A VENERABLE citizen of the Strad- dle Ridge neighborhood entered a lunch room in Polkville, Ark., dragging after him a gander-necked, lop-eared youth, “What kind o’ pie have ye got yere?” he asked of the brisk waitress, “Peach — apple — mince — raisin — punk’n — apercot — lemon —blackb'ry and_cokernut-custard!”” she answered with considerable rapidity. “Ptu!l—which?” returned the old fellow. The young lady repeated the list with still greater speed. “Please say that over ag’in, if you'd “C-come on now, Rover, i-if there's a-any bears in t-there I'm relyin’ on you to c-chase ‘em a-aw. jest as liv’,” requested the ancient man, . “Say, lookee here!” demanded the “Any roaches or ants bother you?” waitress. “Can't you understand anything?” “No,” she replied. “Oh, yes’m; I understand, all right!” He turned to the lop- “Well,” said he, impatiently, “that all may be so, but you know — cared youth. “There, now, Emmett!” he triumphantly said, I believe this cistern water is makin’ me bilious. The chillern look “You see it’s jest as I told you; a person kin talk as fast as he yaller, too,” he ended, shaking his head uneasily. pleases without stutterin’, if he'll only take keer!” “Buck, whut makes you talk that way. You know there ain't a word of it so!” His Crime Poat was defeated. Though he had “left no “What did de white folks put Brudder Smugg in jail for, sah?” stone unturned” in his search for faults, he had “Trigonometry, sah. He done had three wives.” found none. But somehow, he was impelled ton@ve. And so, without saying anything more, he hitched his team to the wagon, assisted the chickens to get into the coop, loaded on his family and household goods, roped his muley cow to the rear end of the wagon, and drove away. When not a great way along the road he met an acquaintance, who remarked that he observed the Poats had again pulled up stakes, and inquired as to what the trouble was with the house up the road. “No trouble a-tall,” responded Buck. “But, do you know I couldn’t live at tha if they was to give hit to me, lock-stoc d-barrel? No, sir! Not that the place ain’t all that's claimed fer hit, but I’ve got too much spunk and human sympathy to stand fer some things. Now, hit was this v I had a pet cat-fish named Betty, that I fetched with me from the last place we lived at. That's the smartest fish you ever saw, and I think as much uv hit as I do any of my dawgs. When I moved, I put the fish in the pond out in the hoss-lot, and hit was gittin’ along peaceable and was growin’, until the other day the owner uv the place he comes along and puts a passcl of creek fish in the pond, and they tuc slikin’ to my fish and jumped on hit, and tried to run hit clean out of the pond! Mr. Dubley (who has been trying for years)—Don't ! I went out there this mornin’ and found hit hid forcing it on a youngster. Visitor—My boy is nearly four. I shall teach him to Play golf next summer. ere’s trouble enough in life without