Judge — October 23, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Authors, Attention! HO CARES that Rockmore’s company Makes umpsteen million shoes? Or that his mammoth fac- tory Is working three - shift crews? Don’t itemize each costly gem ‘That loads his chest But kindly tell us which of them jewel His girl bride likes the best We read that forty towns were fired, Or thirty ships were sunk, And merely yawn. It makes us tired, That stale old censored bunk The smuggled story whispered round, That roots us to the spot, Relates how Gen'ral B Beneath his bed—half shot was found When banks are plundered, ‘pon the screen Don't show the stolen yen Flash pictures of the Bandit Queen Who ruled the robber men. For figures, cold and void of form, We do not give a darn, So, write of people, live and warm, A human int'rest yarn.— Terrell L Human Interest UMAN IN sellers, criminal and moving pictures. If the interest is too human or the human is too interesting, the Penal Law will get all tangled up in it. There is no human interest in tax bills, trade statistics, rejection slips, or the Pie ceedings of the average Legislature. ST is. found in best trials, newspapers A LARGE Woman—Please, may | pass ? AUDIENCE Man—I don’t know. The author of the human interest story combines the salient features of the clothes- wringer, the lemon-squeezer and the foun- tain. Don’t get the idea that anything that interests a human is of human interest. Some humans collect stamps; play croquet; figure cube roo! r red neckties; take cold baths; drink lithia water, or live in Yonkers. Human interest may be generally defined as the interest humans take in things in which they shouldn’t take so much in- terest. Human interest. i seldom personal. Edi- tors will tell you that it is easy to get the human animal excited about the human in- terest in somebody else’s divorce case, but hard toget him worked up about the human interest in his own tax rate. There is one phase of human interest which is technically known as “sob stuff.” Artists in this line can make people sob over a man who got five years when he de- served ten. The man who has had the desire for hu- man interest squeezed out of him, becomes either a reformer or a Try it. corpse. As soon as MIGHT any particular brand of human interest becomes entitled to capital letters, some gloomy reformer begins to regulate it. —Charles Elkin, Jr. Heard at the Club “Jimson has become a very firm believer in signs,” remarked Black. “What caused it?” asked White. “Why, he picked up a horse-shoe in front of his house yesterday, and when he went in he found a note from his wife saying that she’d run away with the chauffeur.” Lost Track of Time Lateboy—Good night, Miss Cayenne. Ul be going now. Had a most pleasant evening. Miss Cayenne (drowsily at 1 a, M.)— Ah, yes. You called last evening didn’t you? ¥ Hit It Wrong “T trust we shall make you feel quite at home,” remarked the hotel manager. “Don’t you try it,” expostulated the married man. “I’m away for'a good tite.” Recognition Mollice—How do you recognize a gentle- man in a crowded car? Dollic—By his general get up. What Else? HE KNOWS that the docked skirt is shocking— Being stylish, what else can she wear? When breezily Winnie goes walking, She knows that the docked skirt is shocking; But her fortune is in her stocking, And if men stare, just let them stare! She knows that the docked skirt is shocking— Being stylish, what else can she wear? —Stokely S. Fisher. comicbooks.com