Judge, 1915-10-23 · page 26 of 28
Judge — October 23, 1915 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humor**, not political satire. The main content consists of: **"Stories with Smiles"** — A humor column containing four anecdotes: 1. **Plumbers vs. Professors** — Social commentary mocking class pretension. Parents aspire to make their sons professors, but society needs skilled tradesmen like plumbers. The joke: a good plumber has more dignity than a poor professor. 2. **Asylum Visit** — A philanthropic woman condescends to an asylum inmate, later horrified to learn he's the superintendent. The satire targets naive upper-class charity workers judging people by appearance. 3. **Lawyer's Fee** — A struggling attorney can't make change for five dollars, so pockets the bill while promising extra legal advice. This satirizes lawyers as penny-pinching and opportunistic. 4. **Optimist Definition** — A brief joke about optimism. These are genteel, mainstream humor pieces typical of Judge magazine — gently mocking professional pretension, class assumptions, and dishonest tradespeople. No specific political figures or events are referenced.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(Next to Wanamaker’s) Philadelphia, Pa. For all purposes the most conveniently located hotel MODERATE TARIFF David B. Provan Managing “Innocence Abroad” This etracivepctre in all the bast colors of the orginal painting by Exoch Brier nce 8935 fn. co Art Movat 11 14 in. Sent prepaid to any addres for only Bc. to jeiroduce our new 32 page stislogue of Pictures for the Den. “All winners.” Catalogue oaly 0c Celebrity Art Co. 37A Columbus Ave., Boston, Mass. ~ Money back A_ TREATISE ON JHE ‘MAI Ths four, ettlon of “The Wi seas ye Achershang, No . “ ig yn cotorraent vill et nyt oF se re nenerehacg, SOD OGD Aveace, Rew Tore. ie “MADE AT KEY WEST— HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses . 20 Beekman Street, New York. and 32 Clinton Street, Newark, N. J ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER Stories with Smiles Plumbers and Professors—Many a good plumber has been spoiled by his parents while they were trying to create a professor out of him. he world wants teachers, and it wants. tinsmiths too. It must have mule drivers, hod carriers, ditch diggers, canal drivers, sky-scraping con- tractors, heat, light and power men; it must have dull brains, skilled mechanics, tango- tea men, professors and plumbers. I would rather be a good plumber than a poor professor. The title of a plumber signifies two things a big man or a little maa. [t all depends on the man. Some of the biggest men that I know of in this country are plumbers. They know exactly how to fit men in an organization, and they are willing to do this while they wear overalls and jumper. —“The Silent Partner.” Once Bitten, Twice Shy—A_philan- thropic lady visited an asylum not long ago and displayed great interest in the inmates. One old. man particularly gained her com- passion. “And how long have you been here, my man?” she inquired. “Twelve years,” was the answer. “Do they treat you well?” “Yes,” Do they feed you well?” S. After addressing a few more questions to him the visitor passed on. She noticed a smile broadening on the face of her attendant and on asking the cause heard with con- sternation that the old man was none other than the medical superintendent. She hurried back to make apologies. How successful she was may be gathered from these words: “I am sorry, doctor. I will never be governed by appearances again.” — Argonaut. A Ready Solution—A well-to-do farmer in need of legal advice sought a struggling attorney with reference to a suit he desired to bring against a neighbor. The lawyer looked up the statutes and advised his client what course to pursue. As the latter rose to le the office he as! “What’s your fe “Oh, say three dollars,” carelessly re- sponded the attorney. Whereupon the client proffered a five- dollar bill. The lawyer seemed embarrassed. He carefully searched his pockets and the drawers of his desk without finding the necessary change. Finally he met the exigency by pocketing the bill and observing, as he reached for a digest: “It would seem, sir, that I shall have to give you two dollars’ worth more of advice.” —New York Times. Correct—“ What's an optimist?” “A man who s other people not to worry when things are coming hi “id —Baltimore American. His Future—Hepsey—That boy of ours seems mighty fond of tendin’ to other folks’s busin Hiram—Guess we'll hev to make a lawyer of him. Then he'll git paid for doin’ of it. —Boston Transcript. Are You Letting an El Dorado go to Waste? Akers you failing to realize up- on the possibilities which South American trade offers you —failing to capi- talize upon the three billion dol- lar market which the war has thrust into your hands? Then you should send today for that most authori- tative of all guides to the needs and characteristics of South American business Selling Latin America By W. E. Aughinbaugh Editor of Leslie’s Export Promotion Dept. If you are already reaching out for the profits to be gained by developing this field, you need this book also. It will give power to your efforts— make your selling more efficient—tell you how to pack, ship, bill and collect with the least risk and the maximum results. ‘Written by a man who has spent 20 years on the firing line—who has traveled every nook and corner of 18 of the most important countries in Latin America — who has lived and worked with the peopl who knows their language and their who has sold them thousands of dollars’ worth’ | goods—and now who gives you the full benefit of his experience in a 395-page book of plain, simple, workable facts. Send For This Book Today—No Money Simply mail the coupon. Examine the book when it comes. If it does not prove to be a treasure house of profit-building suggestions, return it to us. Small, Maynard & Company 16 Beacon Street, Boston, Mass. Please send me W. E. Avahinbangh Rd book, “Selling Latin Americ: t, 1 will remit $2.00." Otherwise, I shall remail. the book to you within five days. Judge 10-23