Judge — October 23, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE UNIVERSAW PIPE The most lik- | able of all pipes. Keeps a man és _ satisfied because it keeps his to- bacco dry. “, There’s a shape for every fancy. Get yours. i 3 ? & Co. om New York The Climax of an Autumn Day Ale The “One touch of Nature” that fills and thrills the heart’s desire and lifts the soul above the cares of life. Evans’ Stout too You Can't Lose Your Keys Af you cary them in 0 BANDA LLATIER REY CASE Wed Tour Rane Stamped in Geld leat 25c BY.M: 1 40c ith, Poche Postpaid for Pen Kail Convenient, prevent ys from ru: ing. saves clothing and is a neat © for’ the pocket." ‘Made ‘of strong, biaca leather with key tin Write for Tiiwstrated Catolog of Danda Leather Goods and Novelties DANDA HE. MPG. CO, 82 bbw S Rew York William Demuth Spontaneous humor—which is usually unconscious humor—surpasses in happy surprise any attempt the humorist who has studied hi t can put forth. Here are some actual answers to questions propounded in the Regents’ examination, at Albany, New York. From their highly amusing character and variety it is plain that the Empire State is richer in humor than the workaday public has ever imagined: Pompeii was destroyed by an eruption of iva from the Vatican. ‘The function of the stomach is to hold up the petticoats. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Two compound personal pronouns are v sa There were no Christians among the use most of them were lawy is the most useful mammal be- nily A baby cause it will be a great help to its when it grows up. Winter is the coldest scason in the year because it comes mostly in winter. In some countries winter comes in summer. then it isn’t so worse. I wish winter came in summer here; then we could go skating barefooted and make snowballs without get- ting our fingers cold. When it comes in summer they call it rain. Typhoid fever can be prevented by fasci- nation. orgia was founded by people who had ecuted. rper’s Ferry is the ferry that runs be- tween New York and Hoboken. The qualifications of a voter at school mecting are that he must be the father of a child for eight weeks. The qualifications for citizenship are that you must be natural born or made. The government of England is a limited mockery. Elaine gave Launcelot an omelet before he departed for the tournament. The boy scouts are near to Nature, God and the other boys. Latin translation: “He smelt his death approaching. He walked toward a_ hill clad with a microscope. Hell consumed it up in fire and it sizzled so loud that each ‘suz’ was like a small shot. The sombre were cleared for the scuffle. The sombre sky was filled with arms. He drew his handover his forehead and suddenly expanded his temples Making bread: “First of all flour is spread out on a board in the form of a circle with nothing in the center. Then eggs are cracked and spilt’ into the circle of flour. The next thing to do is to spill some water into the flour. ally salt is applied. 4 of this material is rolled around on the bo and it finally takes the form of doo. The shape is thereupon given the doo and it is placed in the oven.” The feminine of Bull is Mrs. Bull. A vacuum is a large, empty place where the Pope live Hardships suffered by Southerners after the Civil War: The wives of aristocrats and of gentle birth patiently made their husband’s trousers out of their own. The alimen canal lies below the dia- phragm and coils itself around the stomach. SPONTANEOUS HUMOR The stomach is a part of the ali mach imme canal and it is just south of the Hy Tuberculosis is spr using the tuberculosis. You should not pick flies out of y, with a lead pencil use a handy If it were not for the fish in the lakes th water woul often overflow and destroy ns forests, for fish drink a : = R. R. to its employees 2 thor eye 5 * * ide wy CaN spend their vacations in the mountains. A mineral is composed of nothing, si found in the carth. - The barge I was thought of and started by Balboa, who came to Panama for he purpose of finding a way to the ac . I learned from one day’s housekeeping never to get married but to be a school teacher instead. ntland is good for cattle raising because of the irregular coast line. The people of Mass. live close together to protect themselves from the cold, The inhabitants of Alaska live separate from one another ause of their nature. Heredity is when a person has the same thing or takes it from their relations. It grows right in them because it has been in some of their relations. Julius Caesar told Mr. Shakespeare that he liked sleck fat men who slept nights. Five American holidays are New Year's St. Valentine’s Day, Washingtoa’s day, St. Patrick’s Day and Tag Day. Silas Marner was written by Maxine Elliott. Paris’ great hobby was women and he worthless in anything else. Name some of the men of Mass. and tell for what cach was noted:—Mr. Salem fitchcraft, Gov. of Mass. ate—Nec fas est numen deorum lum inviolare. “It is fitting to sprinkle mortaline into the wounds of the gods.”” Mention some of the conveniences of modern life: Ans.—Fireless telegraphy, sty!- ish dressing, sporting life, incubation. Balanced sentence—A man had a wooden leg and his wife had a wooden arm. When Cicero delivered this oration he was a prefix. James is the subject of a fine-eyed verb. Shad go up the river to spoon. Patrick Francis Murphy's Epigrams At the dinner given recently in New York Anglo-French Loan Commission by Igrims, Patrick Francis Murphy was the humorist. Here are some of his epi- grams: “Morals, like the chamelcon, take their color from the country over which they run. “To be temperate is to know how much of anything is good for one. “Virtue is often the shrinking from 4 temptation that has no attraction. “Nowhere do things happen $0 inet plicably as in this world. “The church cannot explain this worl, and so strongly recommends the next. | “We learn from history that no wamior statesman ever learns anything from his tory.” rad by two childre me pencil one of which y w w