Judge — September 18, 1915 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

. \ = a> . SSeS NICS Suppressing the Steady N A CERTAIN town in these United States, the school board has under- ken to regulate, if not to suppress, the school ma’am's “steady.” By duc and solemn resolve of con- stituted authority, no school teacher may accept the company of her young man on Wednesday or Sunday night (which apparent- ly are the recognized nights for such atten- tions) without notice to the board of edu- cation. The 150 women teachers employed in the city schools must each—if they have “steady’’—declare the fact, with full at- tendant details, or else be ineligible for re- appointment. The edict, it is solemnly declared, will be enforced regardless of per- son or position. Whether the declaration of possession of a “steady” will operate to the advantage or to the prejudice of the young woman so declaring is not set forth in this remarkable bit of constructive legislation. More specific reference to the town and the persons concerned may be omitted, because, if the town has a sense of humor, the mandate in question will be too short-lived to be worth such distinction. If on the other hand it has no sense of humor, then the town deserves not to enjoy the notoriety which promul- gation of such an edict might entail. As for the board of educa- tion itself, there is no constit tional inhibition upon a man’s making himself as ridiculous as he chooses, especially if, as is probable in this case, he has no wife to re- strain his natural procli s in that direction. Even when he has, it is not always a sure deterrent, for the immortal Bumble, him- self a Benedick, was forced to con- clude that “the law is a ass.” should be taken seriously? What intricate and delicate questions would at once aris When does a “steady” become a ‘‘s and when does he cease so to be? licitous mother asked her son: “Are you engaged?” “Not exactly engaged,” he re- plied, “but there is a sort of understand- ing. How definite must the “sort of understanding” be, to bring the young gentleman caller within the purview of the school board’s rule for the regulation of “steadies”? And suppose there were two or more contestants for the place of first consideration? 1s it conceivable that a girl, even to keep herself in place as a teacher, would ever reveal to a horrid old bachelor school board which of the lot she regarded as her sure enough “steady,” thus unduly clating one and dispiriting the others? We trow not! A case in point, perhaps, once occurred ata girls’ boarding school, where the rules forbade the young ladies to go riding with men, except relatives or fiancés. ‘‘Are you engaged to him?” asked the teacher, when one of the girls asked permission. “I will be when we come back from the drive,” she replied. GOOD SALESMANSHIP Buyer—I| bought this toy here yesterday, but when | wound it up at home it wouldn’t go. The Portable Schoolhouse T IS authoritatively announced that Boston has recently acquired sixteen new portable schoolhouses, a bit of news which the schoolboy, to-day as in Shakes- peare’s time, —with his satchel And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school—— will hear with dismay because of the pos- sibilities of woe involved in their use, Who knows but that the day may come when, thanks to modern progressive ideas, boys will no longer go to school, but, alas, school will go to them? Of what avail then will be the measles, the mumps, or the ever- welcome whooping-cough? What boots a stomach-ache at cight a. M. if Father can go to the ’phone and have a portable school wheeled around to the back door, and the multiplication-table spread as per usual? What use to play that glorious game of hookey if the fleeting truant can actually be pursued by a handsome sixty horse- power, si: inder schoolhouse, set in- stantly upon his trail? Indeed are we glad that our school days are over, and were not deferred to these overprogres- s times when even the rights of childhood are not safe from the ravager. Whether the new school- houses are electric or gasolene, we are not informed, but in any event we like them not, and on behalf of the downtrodden youth of the land whose privileges in the line of avoiding education are thereby threatened, we emphatically enter our protest against the inno- vation Compensatory Nature bestows her own com- pensations: if a man is fat he is usually endowed with a jolly, op- Seller—That's the idea exactly, sir! That's our automatic tramp, and it won't work. timistic temperament. But suppose that this edict icbooks.com