Judge — September 4, 1915 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Club Cocktails The introduction to the hospi. table board can be achieved ander no more auspicious circumstances than through the medium of Club Cocktails. It is the right start that portends a successful end. Experts blend thechoicest liquors, mix them to measure, age them to smoothness in the wi All varieties at your dealer's, o2 ye HEUBLEIN & BRO. New York London os ol te famous Brand's A-I Sauce As A Pleasant Beverage and A Pure. Wholesome Tonic It Has No Equal. em picce of watch manufacture—adjusted to the second, positiors, tem- perature and isochronism. Encased ‘at the factory into your choice of the exquisite new watch cases, 19 Jewel Burlington apie ranre bs eat ae emanate Se watch at the came price even the w aust pay Write Today for Free Watch Book eobein: escrojns Sins SouSairessen S pstcand ls sosuah” Gat Wh lfer elo Te hase 19th St. & Marshall Bie 2478 Wear It A Week At Our Expense Book, ‘tions of the ¢: gems. “No caliatione ‘The book is John. S & Son 2z7s were ordered a simple enough dinner, according, at least, to our Idaho standard—a dinner of clams, cold consomme, grilled brook trout, filet of beef with mushrooms, chicken a la broche and so on—yes a simple enough Idaho dinner, but, by crinus, they kept me waiting in the heat and noise and smells an. unconscionable time. Unconscionable! Finally I called the maitre d’hotel and sau Is it the rule to tip the waiter here?’ said the man. ‘Oh, yes, sir.’ id I, ‘give me a good big tip. I’ve been waiting ‘close on to three hours!”” —Exchange. Reason Enough At a dance given by a social club there was a man who met with a mishap on the floor, due to his lack of skill in dancing. A little later the man sought out one of the guests and said: “Sir, you are the only gentleman in the room.”” “Thanks,” replied the other dryly. I inquire what motive has led you to se me out for this complimentary outburst?” “Wh. explained the man, “when I tripped’ in the tango just now and. fell sprawling to the floor, incidentally ripping off a large section of my charming partner's gown, you were the only one in the place that did not laugh.” The other smiled grimly. “The explanation lies in the fact that the lady is my wife and that I have paid for the gown.” —Philadel phia Ledger. What the Doctor Said “George, dearest, what did the doctor say?” excitedly asked the young wife upon the return of Mr. Newlywed from the doctor’s shop. “Now, dearie, don’t get excited,” calmly replied the young husband, as he proceeded to hang up his coat and hat. “The doctor remarked that I was all right but that I would have to give up smoking temporarily.” “Oh, George, I’m so glad that is all! Didn't he ything else, dear “Well, yes, he also remarked that I would have to give up two dollars permanently,” truthfully answered George, as he filled up the old jimmy pipe. Mere Trifle First Trawler Skipper (to friend who is due to sail by next tide)—Are ye takin’ any precautions against these submarines, Jock? Second Skipper—Ay, although I’ve been in the habit 0’ carryin bits o’ bawbees wi’ me, I went an’ bankit them this morning, an’ I’m no takin’ ma best oilskins or my new sea boots First Skipper—Oh, you're a’ richt, then. Ye'll hae practically naethin’ tae lose but yer life. —Punch. To Promote Matrimony There’s nothing like seashore life for pro- moting matrimony—or, at least, promoting engagements. A very pretty girl said the other day: “Tam going to learn to swim this summer.” “But,” said I, “I thought Jim taught you to swim last summer.” “T know,” she answered. “But I’m no longer engaged to Jim.”—Washington Star. 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