Judge — August 28, 1915 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

All She Said By MAX MERRYMAN RS. SPRAGG had had Mrs. Ragg arrested for assaulting and bat- tering her. When the case came to trial, Mrs. Spragg’s law- Now, madam, will you be so good as to tell the court just what you said to Mrs. Ragg that caused her to assault and batter you? Be brief, please."’ **Yes, ; Iwill. It don't take me forever to say a thing, as it does a certain person who is in this room and who ain't got the first instink of a lady, or she wouldn't be here under arrest for layin’ hands on her betters an’ forgettin’ that she set up to be a lady an’ had the priv'lege of associatin’ with respectable people—something it's plain she hadn't been used to before she moved into our court, an’ *’—— “Here, here, madam; you are wandering from the question. I asked you to tell us what you said to Mrs. Ragg that caused her to as- sault and batter you. Tell us that, and that only."’ “I can do that, an’ it won't take me very long, neither, an’ it'll be the plain truth, which is more than can be said of half of what she says, an’ there's others who'll say the same of her. How that woman can say some of the things she says an’ expect to go to the good place when she dies is beyond me; but that ain't neither here nor there. As to what I said to her that made her come at me like a cattypult ora batterin’ ram, it was the gospel truth, an’ there's them in this room that knows that I told her nothin’ but the livin’ truth when I told her that cher little Tommy was light-fingered, an’ that her little Sally was the sassiest young un in the block, and that her oldest boy, Joe, was a candidate for the reform school an’ would soon git there, and A PROFESSIONAL FOOD INSPECTOR Montague—So the Jimson girl eloped with young Perkins? Are ber parenfs much worried ? Melissa money. Awfully Every day they are expecting a letter asking tr that I had my opinion of a woman that le a wash hang out from Monday until Friday, as I kin prove that hers did, an’ it was blacker when she took it in than when she hung it out, although goodness knows that it was black enough in the first place, with her sowsly way of doin’ a washin’, an’ never soakin' a thing over night or boilin’ a rag of it. I got it from the best of authority that she has been known to do a whole wash in cold water, an’ that’’—— “Ts that all you said to her?” “Well, I did say that I got it straight that an own cousin of hers had went to the peni- tentiary for life, an’ that her own brother had done time for burgling, an’ that her husband wouldn't booze so much if she give him something fit to eat at home an’ didn't feed him from the bakeshop an’ on canned stuff, which you know yourself, judge, ain't half of it fit to eat an’ c a lot more thas when you cook it yourself; an’ if youcould see the messes I've seen her set before her husband, so she could have more time to st on the front steps an’ gossip the way"—— “*But what did you say direct to her?” ‘Nothin’ to speak of, only I did tell her that ev'ry one in the block knowed that they couldn't believe a word she said, an’ that we had our private reasons for seein’ to it that our doors were locked when we went out an’ she was to stay to home, which she does mighty little of the time. I did tell her that all of us knew that she had bought the plume a yard long on her hat on pay: ments, an’ that we had got it straight that it would be taken off her hat by them that