Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Wrist Watch HERE has been for some time past a strange impression in the minds of ome persons who believe themselves to be the public that the wearing of a wrist watch by a man is a sign of effeminacy. By just what process of reasoning these wiseacres have reached this con- clusion is not wholly clear, for asa matter of fact a great many of our most virile and busily active male humans find the wrist watch an article of very great convenience. Military men in the active pursuit of strenuous duties have found it of invalu- able aid. Policemen, to whom a certain exactitude as to time is an essential of the proper performance of their functions, have found wrist watches more than help- ful to them. A great many orators— pulpit, stump and soapbox—would run far less risk of boring their audiences into a state of coma if they would only avail themselves of its advantages and intimations. | Locomotive engineers, Pullman porters, night watchmen and chauffeurs would probably testify that the world holds no more convenient kind of timepiece. Why should it always be neces- sary for a busy man desiring to know the time to haul several cable lengths of gold, zinc or brass chain out of his abdominal depths, in order to bring his watch into view, on penalty of being considered effeminate? Why anybody on earth or off it should be com- pelied to unbutton an overcoat or a raincoat and go feeling around in thedepthsof a waist- coat pocket, like a small boy diving into a grab bag at a church fair, in order to drag his timepiece into the clear light of day, or subject his masculinity to everlasting re- proach, is utterly beyond His Honor. Modern Legislation ODERN legislation has just about suc- ceeded in regulating everything ex- cept the growth of altruism and the speed of Washington society. The zeal for regu- lation and inspection respects no boundary lines, With the cleverly extorted consent of our indulgent Constitution, the Federal govern- ment regulates the railroads, the express companies, private incomes and the elec- ‘<l That blacking tastes ot kerosene tions in Indiana. With intricate and deli- cately adjusted mechanisms, State govern- ments inspect everything from the purchase of coal hods for country schools to the length of bed sheets in metropolitan hotels. Every man or woman hapless enough to be elected to office soon finds himself or her- self heavily bonded and spied upon by a half dozen boards of review, who have to discover something crooked once in a while in order to justify their existence. The law has evidently come to the con- clusion that he who serves the public thereby grafts the public. 32 Boy! ‘clan The pup—I do wish he'd be more careful of his shoes. A Warning L** psychologists who have supervised the training of infant prodigies will é well to remember that they are not thereby qualified to tell common folks how to rex ordinary, human children. In fact, if they persist in the publication of their diabolicj advice, the foundations of our nation wil) soon be tottering. Most children are ordinary —a gre many of them excessively so—and to nour. ish their sluggish minds on those intelle. tual sweets which precocity so wantonly cries for is liable to result in acute a. tacks of cerebral indigestion. People who yearn after the secret of rearing children will find much pleasure, but little help, in the present rage of lady psychologism. There really is no secret about the matter—unless it be to ue the soft pedal most of the time and the swift paddle occasionally. Information Wanted ILL some one please give a hintia regard to the whereabouts and the welfare of the family? This honored in- stitution began to disappear a generation or so ago, just about the time that the dissipation of inconveniences attendant upon the rearing of children made fami- lies feasible. Ever since the passing away of one-room log cabins, abject poverty, home-grown wearing apparel and com- mon sense, the family has been losing weight and numbers. Its recent complete withdrawal from society has caused grave concern among those who favor the furiher propagation of the species. If the family will kindly come back and re-establish itself among the race of men, no questions will be asked and none answered. Who Will Be Crowded Out? ‘OW that suffrage bulletins are to be put up on the billboards for the baseball returns, will the women let the men gt near enough to read the score? o o # G PS as BE KO