Judge, 1915-08-14 · page 20 of 28
Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for luxury hotels and scotch whisky, with a serialized short story ("Introducing the New Boarder") as the main content. **The Story's Humor:** The piece satirizes a garrulous boarding house landlady who constantly **mangles her tenants' names** while introducing a new boarder to other residents. She confuses "McCabe" with "Robinson," forgets whether another tenant is "Anderson" or "Elberson," and struggles to remember "Miss Robertson's" first name—despite insisting the woman loves having everyone use her first name. **The Social Satire:** This mocks the pretentious sociability and poor memory of boarding house keepers, while also gently poking fun at deaf residents and the awkwardness of forced introductions among strangers. The joke relies on early 20th-century readers' familiarity with shared boarding house life, where eccentric landladies often wielded considerable social authority. The humor is gentle, domestic comedy—not political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
5S REASONS FOR SUPERIORITY CAUTION, Re-filling or Substitution Unless you get the genuine BLACK & WHITE Scotch Whisky the S “Reasons for Superiority” are not apparent The Highest Standard of Quality HOTEL CUMBERLAND (In the Center of Attraction) BROADWAY AT 54TH STREET, NEW YORK, N. Y. Near SOth Street Subway and 53rd Street Elevated MODERN FIREPROOF All outside rooms. Every room has private bath. Every Bathroom has outside window. Hardwood polished floors thruout. Oriental tugs in every room. Most home- like and best hotel accommodations in New York. Rates Reasonatle. $2.50 with bath, and up TEN MINUTES’ WALK TO 40 THEATRES Excellent Prices Restaurant Moderate Send for Booklet HARRY P. STIMSON (Formerly with Hotel Imperial) Only New York Hotel Window Screened Throoot Introducing the New Boarder “Qt, GooD EVENING, Miss—er—er—names do £0 from meg, ily—McCabe, isn’ it? Oh, Robinson! I thought it was thing that began with Mac. I must have been thinking of a McCabe who boarded with me several years ago and who bole like you, only her hair was lighter and she was thinner than yoa a dear girl whom we all came to love. You remember her, piss Mrs. Skimmer? You don’t? Well, it is no matter. Miss Pobie let me introduce you to—oh, beg pardon—Robinson. Let me js duce you to Mr. Simpson, and I think that I will let you sitty ae but you must look out for him, for he is a great lady killer, ang— hi you find everything you needed in your room?"’ “I think so."" ‘*So glad you did, dear! Let me introduce you to Mr, who will sit on the other side of you—a rose between two ha, ha! What is that, Mr. Benson? Original? I never said jt original with me. A great man to take people up, Miss Robertaa, You must box his ears if he makes himself too fresh. He can be dey, fully naughty at times. Mrs. Wingerly, let me introduce you be new member of our family, Miss Robertson— No, not Anderson, & is quite deaf, Miss Robertson, and you will have to get accustomed y raising your voice when— No, no, Mrs. Wingerly, the name ism Elberson. It is Robertson, Miss Robertson. I don't know ber fey name. Would you mind telling her your first name, Miss Roberts She is so fond of knowing the first names of every one, and youn Margaret? Her name is Margaret, Mrs. Wingerly— No, not Big beth! Dear, dear, but these deaf people are a trial when they waty know anything! You won’t mind if she is a little inquisitive you?’" “T think not."* “It is very nice of you to feel that way about it. We humorbe; good deal. She is really a very nice old lady. Been a widowaga many years, and she has a guardian who lodks after her and her rm erty. She owns two or three houses and has a very comfortable lish income. She is real well connected and— Miss Winn, let meiny duce Miss—Miss—the name has gone from me again—Roberts?. a Robinson? I will really try to remember. I can remember facsfr years, but names go from me. I have a sister who is just the ole way. She remembers names, but not faces. It’s nice to be withhe, for she can always remember the name, and I remember the face. Yu will meet her on Sunday, Miss Rollins, She dines here every Sendy, Mr. Dickey, this is Miss—Miss—Robinson. I did remember it te time! Mr. Dickey is in the shoe business, and sometimes he is gut enough to take people over the factory he travels for. It's so inter ing! You must take Miss Robinson some time, Mr. Dickey. Rel, you have more respect for a shoe after you have seen how it is mak Did you ever go through a big shoe factory, Miss Robinson?” **No, I never did.’ “*You must take her over your factory some time, Mr. Dicks The lady next to Mr. Dickey i3 Mrs. Ellton, Miss Robinson. Sheiss sister of Judge Brink, of whom I have no doubt you have heard. & did us the honor to dine with us one evening. Such a charming mal I never met a more interesting converser. No matter what subjecty# mention, he knows something about it. No wonder his sister proud of him. Mr. Springer—you must know Mr. Springer, Miss Reb inson. Mr. Springer is our funny man. But don’t you try to be fay at the expense of Miss Robinson at her first meal with us. If you I will make you go without your dessert, and it is cottage pudding® night, and you know how fond you are of that. Stop that preteiday tocry! He is a dreadful cut-up, Miss Robinson. Pass the crackes® Miss Robinson, Mr. Simpson. Now you must feel that you are qt one of us, Miss Robinson. I always want my boarders to feel that i is their home and not their boarding-house, and that we are just a lit family group, and— Why, thece are no prunes at your plate, Ma Robinson! What an oversight! Never mind, dear. I will have maid bring some by the time you are ready for them. You shallat be slighted your very first meal with us, dear!’’ Mar Merry Twelve Tables Bobby—Dad, what's a bridge of sighs? Dad—Ask your mother, Robert—she gave one yesterday.